Sunday, January 13, 2008

Thoughts and musings

So sitting here on a Sunday evening. Today was gorgeous...warm and clear like you wouldn't believe. Great message about living like baptized folks is supposed to be living earlier. Watched the Cowboys blow it. Talked to mom (well, that was yesterday, but still). Had pizza. Looked through some photos.

Thought about some things. Just did some other things. Really quickly got a banner done for the website. Which was amazingly quick and simple. Who knew? So we'll have a wedding website (static for the most part) AND a wedding blog (gossip, craziness, security detail...kidding). Think we're about set there.

In the meantime, I was reading part of the paper today (I know, I'm so bad...I almost never read the paper yet I manage to know most of what is going on) and there was an article that was pretty timely. About being able to tell when folks are yanking your chain and all. Timely as I get back into the flow of reading applications from folks who would give anything to come to my school...right.

Another week ahead of us. But only four days of work, then four days off, then three days on and three days off. I picked well (smile). In more ways than one.

Thought I'd go through a list (of course) but of what that I have not done a bazzilion times already? How about why I totally, completely love me some him since it has been another one of those amazing weekends for the books.

200%. Like whoa. I gave it about two seconds to try to do a banner for the wedding site. He's been over there for hours now and from what I keep peeking from over here, he has got some amazing stuff going on over there. How similar we are in style is like whoa. For the record, I DID create the banner. And can you tell what song I'm listening to now? Right...it's been a while.

My brown eyed boy. But not really. Closer to hazel some days. But really brown but just amazing. Gorgeous. Especially from certain angles but mostly just when he's thinking about certain things. Or people I suppose. Or when he's intensely into something and you call his name and he looks up...I LOVE that look.

Stronger. Everyday. He makes me stronger. Because I want him to feel just as safe as I feel when he wraps me up in his arms. We just fit together perfectly. There's this little hollow under his chin that the top of my head tucks perfectly into. And this certain way that he wraps his arms around me if he's standing behind me. I just melt into him.

But not oppressive. I don't know any other way to say this. I mean, he holds me down without holding me down. I'm sure if I were seizing up somewhere (or, ahem, passing out...chill mom...it's been years), he could hold me down if need be. But I'm not exactly certain of that. Just cause we've never, not even in play gone there. Hmmm.

Smart. Intelligent for sure. Wiser for it. I wouldn't say brilliant--like nerdy and bookish. But smart. You know, real world. Watching his mind work blows me away. The speed, the depth, the never failing curiosity. The impatience with trivial things. But the willingness to slow down and enjoy the process too. The need to be surounded by it for fear of shriveling away into nothing.

To be sure, I've had lots of past exposure to aspects of that. But generally speaking, we're both a bit of a departure from the norm. And the results have been an explosive new compound that neither of us anticipated.

Most days I wonder what I ever did to deserve this. To be this happy. To be this "here" and this "now" with this guy. Then he does another Craig's List transaction from which he is sure to tithe to the toes and the quirkiness throws me into fits of giggles and I again wonder why it is that WW won't give me activity points for laughing. Or for that other infamous activity they won't let you get points for either. I'm just saying...a girl need motivation sometimes to get active.

By the way. Where in all hell are my save the dates?? Their non-delivery has quickly moved beyond a "heckfire" situation, as you have witnessed.

Negative 8s week two...here I come!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

his eyes are green hazel and almost as far from "brown" as you can get.... me thinks you dost protest too much....

Anonymous said...

you do realize how completely disgusting it is that he is even with you, let alone marying you don't you? Don't you realize that you are just creating a mess for both your families to have to clean up later???? What about any kids you produce.... great just more screwed up ethnically mixed up, racially outcast kids.... just what we need.

don't you realize that it looks REDICULOUS the two of you together?

he is a WHITE BOY for g-ds sake couldn't you find a decent black man? What are you THINKING. Total betrayal of all black women everywhere. As a black woman all I have to say is WHAT ARE YOU THINKING HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?

You do realize that his family is just being 'kind' to you don't you? do you REALLY think they are HAPPY about this???, i am sure they are pretending real good... but sister pleeeeaaase.

Get some self esteem for christ sake!.