Wedding Love

Why do I love weddings? Well...let me count the ways in which I loved the wedding this past weekend:

10. drama. plenty of it. From groomsmen not knowing how much they were going to be jacked for a tux rental (small towns = big charges...$150 big charges) to "we're sorry Mr. and Mrs. M but we really DON'T have a room for you and I gives a damn if you're newlyweds. Biker Jon to the rescue...talk about good karma...

9. boyscouts come in handy--especially old past (or is it like once one, always one...??) Eagle Scouts who know how to tie knots. That hold down the tents. At an outdoor wedding.

8. moats are cool--especially at country clubs where they are not really moats, but let us pretend anyhow...

7. families are always cutest when they put aside differences to celebrate in the moment

6. I'm a girl with a bf who lets me carry around his big glass. lol...and I'm sturdy enough not to blow over holding it. (that's for you photogs with model wannabe assistants out there)

5. my man looks super fly in a tux...with his sunglasses on...watching me from afar making sure I'm not bored out of my mind

4. dancing with that guy mentioned above (who lets me carry the big glass and looks superfly in a tux), is really really fun no matter how much I have had to drink.

3. black ribbon, white polka dots. nuff said.

2. Red Bull and what?? No I don't have any cigarettes...cigars either.

1. but most of all, I loved the wedding this past weekend cause I totally love that guy. No...not the groom (not THAT kind of drama) but they do have the same name come to think of it...

Work is about done. Scrap is under control. Gotta get in early tomorrow. Which means I probably get out decently early...not bad.

Off I go!

BRACE yourself...

this one is long. And painful. And heartfelt. And hopeful. So there you have it. Your warning.

Everyday. Absolutely everyday.

I cannot imagine...check that. It hurts my heart to even think about imagining my life without him. Well yeah...him too (cause adorable 9 year old boys are important to have around). But this post is about that other him. yeah. him him. Cryptic enough?

Anyhow. Know the rules of raquetball. My hope (my dear) is that it will be the swim curve. You know...there will come a time when I look back and say "wow, I can't believe I used to have no hand eye coordination whatsoever". yeah.

Then had some okay Ethiopian food. Then started talking. And talking. And talking. Then had to stop and think.

The obvious is out there. I'm a serial leaver. Face it and be honest about it. When the going gets really rough, I don't stick it out. When my husband won't get up off his ass and go and get a job. I stick it out. That's the worse.

When my husband takes me up on MY offer to either work full time OR go to school full time and he takes the path I'd wish he hadn't, I suck it up.

When my husband pulled knives on me, I knew in my heart he would never use it and I stuck around. Thankfully (for whatever saving grace this is) he never did actually use it on me and the threat was almost always that he was going to slit his own wrists. Still traumatic.

When my husband thought it might be a better idea to drink and get chiefed so that he might create better art, I learned to be objective but firm in my beliefs.

I stay. Damn it I stay. but when it gets rough, no matter the reasons the timing or any of the other "yeah buts" the truth of the matter is that I leave.

I don't have the guts to stick it out. I don't have the guts to end it. I don't have the guts. I am indeed co-dependent. That's probably about as succinctly put as I've heard it. Others said I was high maintenance. Not financially because quite frankly, I'm motivated enough to go out and get whatever it is I want. But emotionally. I take a toll on them. when will I take my toll on him?

We're both just scared shitless. At least he can say it. In the moment, when I'm not thinking about the appropriate response or what should be happening...when I am just being, I'm scared shitless to say it. Because I do so much. In ways I never knew I knew how to, I love that guy so much.

But what does that mean? What does it mean to love someone when "forever" honestly DOES scare the shit out of you because you promised that before and thought that nothing in this world could break you. Until your man came home one night (not from work remember...) and asked you for money...for something out of this world. In the midst of the drama of the two of you trying...

My bf doesn't get why I watch with rapt attention movies like Closer and Derailed and Matchpoint. I watch because it was my life and I don't want it to be. I watch to study up and learn. I'm studious like that. He doesn't want to know details because the bigger patterns matter to him. Go west young lady, go west. I only survive off of the details--off of understanding why she always goes west. Off of knowing that if we built a path north instead, might she indeed go north?

I'm a serial leaver. I walk away. Defense mechanism? Maybe. If only I had the first shot. I'm observant. Astutely so. Naiive to bat. Sacrificial. I will always step back with the confidence that the ledge will be there tomorrow for that leap of faith. It always has been. Always will be. Until I wake up and there is no tomorrow. Then it won't matter. No...that is not suicide talk--I absolutely love my life and everything and most importantly everyone in it too much now to give up on that. That "no tomorrow" talk is just that we all end. And I am scared shitless that I am going to end never having got there.

He is convinced he can get there. I am not. Convinced that I can get there that is. Because when I take an honest step back...and I strip away the yeah buts and the reasons and the justifications, there I am. Not afraid of and convinced that said unknowns will do me in, but indeed aware that I'm no longer super human. I know that people change. The guy who loved you to death yesterday is trying to take your life tomorrow. The guy who swore it would be you and only you then went to work one day and met her on the way home. Life. It happens. I can deal with all that I know, but I never knew before that it was possible to love someone so much (some of you will disagree with this--you are entitled) and still do to her what he did to me. That love hurts. And I have no stamina for that. And I have no desire to ever make a promise i fear I cannot keep.

I believe in unconditional love.
I believe in forever.
I believe in sticking it out.

I know I am strong.
I know I'll let you know something.
I know I'll put up with dignity.

I hope I never have to witness another breaking point.
I understand there will be many more matchpoints.
I will that I'll have the power to not mess up this absolutely amazing calm and peace and utter reason to be just because I'm

too blind
too hopeful
too naive
too tired
too rushed
too slow

but absolutely most of all,

because I'm too scared.

Did I mention

That I have an absolutely fantastic BF. One of those who can make you cry just thinking about how absolutely fantastic he is? Yeah...that is me.

15 laps. WHOA now, whoa now!

I remember a day when I couldn't even do 5...couldn't do it. Even did it in the "big girl" pool. WHOA!

Got some lessons that actually made it easier (helps when you date an ex Cali lifeguardish type). I'm amazed. Amazed that even after 15, I'm like...I could keep going. Stop trying to finish first and realized that finishing last is okay...it's about the stamina. which is what I started this for--to get the breathing under control. Nice thighs though (smile).

I learn a new game tomorrow...which reminds me that I have to book that court for tomorrow evening.

No clue what I'm doing for Thanksgiving. But I know who I'm doing it with and that makes me utterly happy. Giddy really. I'm a lucky gal!

Okay...just found a cool site to organize the class reunion with. Should take the time this week sometime to get the two other blogs up--lots of planning. Maybe I should become a professional planner.

Lots of good stuff on the horizon. Although it is a bleak and dreary gray day, it is actually one that I am looking forward to getting stuff done both here and at home.

Later folks!

Not Even...

sore. Wow. How's that for a 3 hour uphill all ways horseback ride? Great!

Got even lots of pictures. On the horse. Lost the eyepiece. Lost the UV filter lens protector. Found both. But BF may never let me use the camera again. Travesty.

I'm utterly bored nowadays. I mean, there is plenty going on that I should be doing, but really. A bit bored. Nothing exciting happening to say "wow, that was worth it". I know I know...move it to the other blog already.

So...I need a list.

Hair did (but so not did anymore...gotta get that tight before I leave)
nails done (and undone...gotta get that right too)
that necklace (done--even better than imagined--then returned...shop at home I tell ya!)
maybe those earrings (didn't need because of better than imagined above-shop at home? yep!)
definitely those ugly shoes (blek) (checked the closet and what did I find...add clip on earrings...gorgeous...)

that list of folks (working on it...what??)
that newsletter (working on that too...still)
those dreams delayed (blek...working...what again?)
those registrations (huh? I'm going to assume yeah)
those tickets (yeah...gotta work that too...thinking on it)
that reimbursement (oh yeah...brought those folders from home...really need to work that)
that check to write (damn checkbook...oh yeah...let's put it on billpay--done! yeah got one!)

that spiral craziness (uhhmmm...)
some randomness (hmmm....bit too cryptic)
think about fun (what a notion)
just because (yeah...if I had the time)

clean
clean that definitely
wash that too
no, there is no excuse

Compartmentalize it all. That is how I function. Life, work, scrap, organize. And then there is that boy. And that girl. That girl--drives me nuts. but that other girl, I have to be back in touch with. That girl that drives me nuts--uh huh. And yeah. User. Used to getting but not. And then some. Right.

Almost time to go back to El pAso. For Thanksgiving? Don't know if I am that brave yet...

B

Giddy up

On Sunday partna. We're riding the wild open range. me with my hurt arse muscle and he with his toes probably scrapin the ground. Horsies be aware. Cool!

But yeah. So it goes. Uhg...gotta go and schmooze now. Really would rather not. So I'll do it late.

Just found out I can be reimbursed for my travel before it happens (but after I pay) so that's good to know.

Gotta create another blog for something scrappy related...which reminds me of something else to post over there. I'm organizing high school reunion for the last week of October and then pub dinner for the first weekend of November. Busy gal. Yeah...I like it like that.

Humpty...

...can't get motivated to get up off the wall. Far less sore today. Got lots that I need to get done tomorrow and today. Like laundry. I've been wearing suits to work this week. You know it's time to do laundry when I break out the suits. But...the good in that is that I found that this sweater vest I love...so goes with the pale blue suit. And yeah.

Last Wednesday off tomorrow. No more looking at Tuesday as my hump day. No more looking at my boyfriend for a while coming up here either. Really trying to brace myself for that. There's really nothing to do on the road--go out and eat with people. Take pictures of sites. But it gets old. Kinda quickly. I need to start my side gig. Ethically. And done right. Sigh...if only there were 13 hours in a day (smile)...

Sore (3rd place) losers

Okay...so we're not sore losers in the traditional sense. but we are sore and we did lose...to two other teams. Out of 17.

Are you an amazing race fan? Well, so am I. So when I found out that Seattle has a Pretty Darn Good Race that takes you all sorts of places local (including, I might add, to Gasworks park where this year's Amazing Race will be kicking off from on Sunday nights this fall), I of course signed us up.

Now...

I thought we would be driving. Knew we wouldn't be flying. Figured we would be running. Yeah. First place team damn near ran the whole race. Second place too. That might be why we finished like a hour behind them and came in first amongst the "less athletic" of the entrants. yeah...That's how I'll put it.

And, we DID get the "trash talkers" award. That, and the stack of $150 dollar bills...oh...and the bronze pretty darn good race medals, all totally made my weekend worthwhile.

And I only broke down and almost cried out of frustration once. That would have been when we were losing precious time and I was so out of it I thought I had left my cell phone and...

life. live and learn.

Fun times and I cannot wait until next year. www.pdgr.org. Check it out my peeps and be sure to check out the pictures when they get posted!

So...

really have nothing to say. In a good mood, getting sick (well, a visitor might be coming on by) and looking forward to 10 laps this evening. And to creating. And relaxing. And being. Just being. Blue skies and Blue Angels. Time to find something to occupy my time for the next 2 or so hours...

Fitted?

Really...Discovery park hike in t-minus 42 minutes out (to the shit hole with a great view) and back. We did sit on the rocks for all of maybe 2 minutes. Friggin' smelled like (see above) but it was gorgeous nonetheless.

As usual, we were about 3 minutes too late for Red Mill after. but wow--I only had to stop once and we damn near ran that thing. We're going to get to the point where we do HAVE to run these things if we're going to get the same rush. Yeah. Loving my thighs...not loving my weight...

Thing is...it is getting darker earlier here. And the Blue Angels are in town (not only have I heard them, but I saw them).

And all the naval ships are floating by my windows.

And yesterday I heard just how "sneaky" law students will try to be to get ahead. No spelling it our for them...the more you talk, the more loopholes you create.

Finished something that should likely be discussed on that other blog. but tonight...

Rescue team duty
sloppiness (yummy!)
cleanliness (ugh)
and write stuff

Bout it. Which reminds me that I have to sync that little gadget I bought a while back and absolutely love. Not only is the sound pretty great with my crappy headphone set that came with it, but it DOES indeed hook up to my speaker system. If only I could remember to sync it already.

That and I finally made it passed that stinkin level. Uhh...what level? What addiction?

Time to finish building the Arc. My people's is floating away in the west texas town of el paso...

Crabby fishy

So...when you live on the water...what do you get when you combine:

cool landlords + crab season + cheesy sauce + pasta?

Well, you get delicious (and I kid you not) to die for Alfredo crab pasta. I would post the recipe, but then I'd have to have Liisa hunt you down (smile).

Speaking of her (I know...typically don't call folks out, but this deserves it):

Have you ever had a girl crush? Well...to have one, you have to be girl, you have to be straight (or crookedly heterosexual), and you have to have an overwhelming passionately obnoxious desire to just love the stuffins out of said girl.

Not in a sex way of course. But in a "wow, she rocks my world" way.

I've been having revolutionary life debates with the BF all morning long. Pointed out to him that it is those debates that makes me keep him around. But really pointed out that I absolutely will go through the flames for Liisa because she gets it too.

Case in point. Little thing. Very little thing. She is interviewing for a wonderfully fantastic job that I absolutely think she deserves. Most folks, in said situation, would do it right, but would never clue the committee into "that other wonderful person" or ask anything that might lose them the job. Not her. She was all loving on me in the interview--having them say "aha...wow..."and not once blinking an eyelash.

She didn't have to think "what if she knifes me" and comes in for this job because I'd never do that. It is something about that unconditional love and faith for another person that is so making me lightheaded. And I am so lucky to have TWO of those people in my life that I am no where near related to.

Other things making me lightheaded lately:

The African Prince (let's call him that) who saw me beat to s#8t yesterday after dragging my thick thighs through 10 laps (gurgle) and still had the nerve to call me beautiful and congratulate me (instead of hater-ating) on being in a wonderful relationship.

That boy who works down the hill from me who is obsessed with my fat.

Those gals who thought I had the inspirational skills to rock it--let me post it--and then the internet lovers who cried at what they saw. Yeah...that stuff that I'm too afraid to show to the boy down the hill who loves my fat...

That little boy who asked "why can't we just all live in the same house together"

High altitude not so pipe dreams

Living within my means, focusing on the future and dreaming the big dreams.

Life itself. Life has me lightheaded.

Mama said...

that she made it home okay. Which is good because my thumb...not so okay. And sleeping on the couch, didn't so much do much good to that hand. Why am I still sleeping on the couch? Cause it's a bit comfy for one (creature of habit...yeah it was only a week. and what).

I have been pulling lots of long nights for deadlines but all have been worth it. All caught up come this weekend. But that's all on the scrap blog so...

In real life...I get to help with planning my high school reunion for this October. It is so great to be back in touch with so many people. Awesome really. Tracking people down. Not so awesome. Especially when myspace is down and all my cheap hs people's (well...to be fair...we were broke and then some) hang out there.

So yesterday, I'm chilling on myspace (not at work of course) and this individual who I would have never thought in a million years I'd ever see again contacted me. The power of connection I tell you. I had been chatting with a mutual friend who is dating his cousin. Who knew. Emailed me all like "hey...remember me." Duh...I only had the hugest, biggest, totally uncontrollable crush on him. Then I met his green eyed best friend. I'm messing. This stuff is funny but my BF is right...after the reunion I have to get off of Myspace. Nothing good can come of that place.

Speaking of BF, we get to swim 12 laps today...I can do it. And then to his place for tacos. Love his tacos...love them. I'm so hungry...think it's time to order some lunch. Have to eat early or I'll sink. According to some Today show "expert" that is a wives tale but let me tell you of some cramps I've had in that pool. Maybe I'll get 15 laps in today...3 with flippers of course. Cheaters never win...but it will keep me going instead of just standing on the edge of the pool. Think we might have to dive in with someone else doing laps because that is what keeps me going back and forth...not wanting to be lapped. Drown halfway from lack of breath but damned if I'ma let you pass me on the wall. Well...at least not more than twice.

So...

...I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm nervous and I'm here. All of that. At once.

Just put mom and the cutest little cute thing in the world back on the bus to El Paso. As he was leaving he broke my heart. Finally gave and took a kiss. Asked me when I was moving back to El Paso for good. Asked why we all just couldn't live in one big house all together. Asked me to be sure to tell the bf that he was going to be sorely missed.

He blew me a kiss from the window and I lost it. Sat in the car and cried for a good 10 minutes. I'm about to start crying right now just thinking about him.

I will never let another three years (or even a year) go by without seeing them. There is no excuse for that. I am so happy that my mother made the sacrifice that she did to come out and see me. So happy that she is happy for me and what I have done. Love that she loved my place. Love that she felt comfortable.

Only regrets: No ferry ride and didn't get to take them to meet the Oly folks. They'll just have to come back. And I get to go and see them in 3 months. Or is it one? Actually, it is 2. I so cannot wait to see them again!

I'ma knock them eyes to the back of yo head boy!

Okay...I'm dressed appropriately today. I contemplated a tank under my summery shirt, but it's hot up in here.

But still...dressed respectfully enough to get comps from the boss (a female...it's coming).

So why the hell did this old dirty man I just met with about his pitifully STUPID scores meet with me for 8 minutes and spend 6 of those minutes blatantly staring at something that sure ain't his to stare at? I'd tell my BF but he'd hop in the car, drive to the SeaTac Holiday Inn and tell a boy something. And he's so not the violent type. Till you mess with his B. Right...I got it like that.

I so needa be out of here. It's a beautiful day out, I get to go swimming in about 3.5 hours then I kiss that boyfriend mentioned above goodbye and work like heck to get everything settled for mom. I can do it...just a few scrap deadlines to address. A little bit of work to do...

Double Stuffed Oreos

Okay...you know I don't like them. Cause, they're cookies and they are Oreos. And this guy...in the 6th grade...called me an Oreo. If he could see me now he might call me double stuffed come to think of it.

But I digress.

So...hamsters...do they take baths? My nephew, all 8 cute years of him, has a mother who tries really hard to teach him responsibility. I know I know...work with me those that know her.

Anyhow. She, some 3 or so months ago, brings home Double Stuffed Oreo--the hamster. I suppose it had like a black head and black behind and the rest of him was white. And he was chunky.

Anyhow, the nephew names him Double Stuffed. I called mom last Friday when I was trying to get her to commit to a bus schedule already and she informs me that said nephew is tossing the hamster around. No, not like bouncing him off the walls--he's not THAT cruel. But he was tossing him in the air (almost to the ceiling--supposedly) and letting him land on the couch. Hamsters are not cats. But I've never had a hamster so I don't dare make any correlations to what follows. But the boy said he was experimenting...let a budding scientist be!

On Saturday, nephew is giving DSO a bath. In the tub. Given his ADD (sit down already!!), he of course has to run out real quick to tell grandma something. He goes back in and he calls frantically back out to grandma to come here. Grabbing DSO out the tub (limp of course) they proceed to try some "chest massages" and argue over who is going to wrap their lips around those pointy sharp fangs.

DSO is no longer with us. Well...not really.

But wait for it.

So...my mother has a sister who is pure evil. I liken her to Satan. She further traumatizes my ultra adorable nephew by telling him he is a murderer and will go to hell for what he did. She probably threw in something about that being why he won't ever see his brothers again. She's like that.

But wait for it.

Nephew is depressed and cute, always wanting to do right mother of his (she, for nothing else, has an absolute heart of gold) comes up with the idea to burry the thing. No, not just in the backyard--they live in an apartment complex so that wouldn't work. Originally, the plan was to go to unincorporated Chaparrel (sp?) NM and burry the thing out there with my grandmother. Ahhh...how sentimental.

Evidently, the desert lot just outside their complex was a bit more convenient.

Wait for it I said...

So they burry DSO. Rest in peace.

Now. I knew my nephew liked scary movies. I know he watches them. But I thought Pet Cemetary was before his time. He went back out there (to pay his respects, so my sister thought he was doing) and promptly dug that thing back up. Uhmmmmm....

yeah.

That's the "it" you were waiting for.

Who dat woman is?

Well...she sorta looks like...and she kinda sounds like...and I know she can shop right? Well, not so much. But she will ooh and ahh at things like baby deer right? Well, of course. Especially if they are not road kill.

That woman, she would be my mama. No...I am NOT the spawn of Satan. Spawn of anything for that matter.

She, of all glorious momminess (I kid you not, there are at least three generations of folks about to attest to this) is coming to Seattle! From El Paso! On a bus. Yes. A bus. Don't ask.

But I will tell. Longer than you can hold it.

Why yes, there are no straight shots between the two because evidently, folks in UT (or some other state in betwix) don't really believe in interstates. I mean, why would you when you have "the 5" in that other state. Anyhow. She will be taking I-10 (yes, that is pronounced "eye", not "tha") over to LA and then "the 5" up from there. I hope she likes California. And California boys cause she's coming all the way up to meet this one really fantastic Cali boy...

He's fantastic because he slimmed my thighs. No...not like that. We now swim twice weekly and walk once a week. He's going to make me run soon here...so not cool. He wants me running 5 miles at once by next year March~ish. Now.

I used to run track.

I used to run "fast". Okay...well I used to technically run a sprint.

I don't think, all things considered, I have fun 5 miles TOTAL in all my life! He will be the death of me. But damn I'ma look good in my coffin!

Yeah....and we do.

***Reallly...I had this great post with lots of great pictures. But since I have not the patience for Blogger sucking up my whole free day that is neither vacation time nor time to work, alas, you lose. Maybe when I'm in a less hormonal state, I'll try again. For the meantime, I'm going to save this for later, post the ramblings and those who want the full version (pics and all!) can email me/leave a comment and I'll be happy to forward you the word version. Let the stalking commence but until then, here is the verbage***

My people. We Camp. Yeah…we do. I hung out in the back of the Tahoe (very comfy let me tell you), sat around a campfire, slathered Deet on my skin (I know…so much for having children) and hiked to the top of the world before almost passing out. My goodness I’ve got a ways to go if I REALLY want to do that next summer. That’s another post for another time.

So what does camping look like to me? Well, let me show ya: (yeah...that would be picture eaten)

That would be Mt. Rainier. And that would be the !*#&#(@ Snow Lake path that almost killed a sista. But who would challenge her to do such a thing you ask?

Why that would be this dude of course: (yeah...that would be picture eaten #2)


And why would that dude drag her into the wilderness knowing full well her people don’t do this kind of thing? Well, to do this of course:(number 3, ate up alive)


Which was all well and good. Because I got to see lots of baby deer (no “kidding”) and that made the trip utterly worthwhile. Well, that and this: (#4)

Note the Burt’s Bee starter kit that I scored at the Longmire Lodge. If I would have known I merely have to travel to the top of the mountain to get this stuff locally…I tell ya. Also note the mustard—all I needed was some hot sauce and we’d be set. Speaking of condiments: (#5...really good I might add)

Do you know what this is? This is called hazing. Malicious, sweet, hazing. You see….sometimes, when you go places, you forget to pack something. Or someone who was supposed to come along doesn’t and so you have to make a stop. Well, we stopped at Sports Authority for a little ax…to chop all that wood that we’d buy at the grocery store and the campsite of course. But at that moment we realized we had no ketchup for our hotdogs. So of course we went to McDonalds. Land of great ketchup. Now…I was GOING to order some fries to go with the ketchup. But evidently, fries are not a breakfast food. So to punish Corporate McDonalds for not realizing the importance of fries in the morning, we each took a handful of ketchup. For the hotdogs. That they don’t sell. Hey…details—don’t get bogged down. Unless that detail is in the word “each”. Since there WERE three of us and only two took ketchup. People. Please. Not like I wasn’t going to return it on the way back.

So back at the campfire, Eagle Scout M got a rip roaring fire going: (6)

And then he settled in with That-Roommate-Dude-Who-Won’t-Gank-Ketchup: (7)

And he had a nice glass of: (8)

Because it wouldn’t be camping without the daily source of calcium.

The next day, we attempted a guided tour with Ruth. (9)

But somewhere between the paid rangers that didn’t know who Douglas Firs were named after or exactly how many years ago the last devastating mud slide was and the “where did the trail go?” volunteer guides…BF’s ADD kicked in and we decided to do the mountain on our own.

Well, the visitor center anyhow.

Since, at this point, I’m sure you are in utter disbelief that I was actually out in the wilderness, I should note that these are all pictures *I* took and that is why you cannot see me in any of them. See that big camera BF is holding? That one holds all of the tear stained, wrinkled forehead, eyes popped out of head shots of me. But just for the disbelieving, I leave you with this: (10)

And all those little flowers that you cannot see that were an amazing site to behold. Those are avalanche lilies.

Wish you were here!

Get off the phone...

...or you might get hit by a train? In a nutshell, some nutcase who couldn't get off her cell phone was "tapped" by a train last night. An Amtrak. Not like those things move at a steady clip OR with a soft foot. She saw the one train go by, thought the gate was taking too long to lift, walked around the "Do not cross" flashing signs and bam!

I bring this up only because I am now ultra curious to know if my BF's roomie's parents (get all that??) got caught up in the mess? It was at about the time they would have been on the train heading back to MN. What a fantastic couple of folks. Now it is prep time for my mommy to breeze into town for a visit.

BF is not stressing that one at all because, well, she was supposed to come before. When I graduated. From grad school. She couldn't make it then. Something or another and I was totally bummed about it but chalked it up to the usual. So if she doesn't come this time, I think there might be words. We have not seen each other in close to 5 years. Same with my cutie newphew tagging along for the ride. Brace yourself for the kiddie pictures sure to ensue.

Went to lunch and ate way too much--11 courses! That is just wrong. This is why I am not a lawyer. No way I could attempt to keep pace with folks who, evidently, think it is perfectly normal to serve not only 11 courses, but a full bar (or, at my table, a full bottle of wine...or two) on a 91 degree day and then expect some productivity for the last 4 hours. Right. Time to go swimming. Here's hoping like heck I don't cramp up and sink to the bottom of the pool. Actually, sinking to the bottom--not half bad. Fat girls float. Especially those with the built in flotation devices. Uggh. Swimsuit time again. All in the name of love, getting fit and a fantastic journey that I just might have to start another blog about. Stay tuned my pretties...

What?

A wednsday and no post. Stalkers are in an uproar! I'm going to post some intense personal info below so be warned. But before we get there:

I FINALLY got my music to transfer over to my player. Finally. Now I can rock out to my trash.

I walked. A lot. Yesterday. Then had this amazing japanese food at a good restaurant. Amazing what happens when you branch out.

Time to plan to lose my shirt this weekend.

Why am I at work? There was a fatality accident on the West Seattle Bridge today. Thank goodness I didn't have to drive or ride by that. I would have freaked. BUT...my boss so didn't expect me to be in today because of it. She didn't think I was in it, but the bridge was shut down for the investigation. Maybe tomorrow I'll not be in...

okay...personal:

1. FIRST NAME? Bernadette. Yeah and now that I’ve “grown up” people actually call me by it.
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Yesterday…probably. Frustrated with something or another.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Love it.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Pesto chicken breast.
6. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Alas…no.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? probably
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? You mean beside pouring out my soul on here?
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? No. not at all. Never. Ever. Okay. Always.
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Let me look…
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? How much are you paying me?
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Pullleaze. Queen of lazy here…
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Emotionally…nope. Physically…well. Mentally…tough as nails.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Peanut Butter Cup Peanut Butter Ice cream.
16. SHOE SIZE? Well…9-11 depending on the shoe.
17. RED OR PINK? Depends on the mood. Love the color red for just about everything but prefer to wear pink
18. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Do it perfect and successfully or don’t do it at all. Can be a bit inhibitive.
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My grandmother
20. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? 1977 – out in the West Texas town of El Paso…
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? no pants, no shoes. Oh yeah I am wearing shoes…brown.
22. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Icki “catered” breakfast. Pan fries, scrambled eggs with cheese (I think), two sausage links, a bit of watermelon, pineapple and cantaloupe. Time to go purge…kidding, kidding, kidding. I know, it’s not funny.
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The chatter in the cubicles around me
24 IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I think they call me mocha (smile)
25. FAVORITE SMELL? The desert after it rains
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED WITH ON THE PHONE? Robert (of course)
27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU MEET? Eye color
28. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Define “special”
29. FAVORITE DRINK? Jones Crème soda of course
30. FAVORITE SPORT? Come on…I was born in TX…that’s a no brainer
31. HAIR COLOR? Black(ish)
32. EYE COLOR? brown
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope—20/20 baby! And then some when I’m not faking it and trying to land some cool glasses
34. FAVORITE FOOD? Thai, Mexican, Indian, Ethiopian…the theme—spice up my life!
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Both. Just don’t try to mix the two.
36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Stupid waste of my life “The Beach”. Really…classic.
37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Orange…or tangerine for the fashionistas out there.
38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Both—love the summer weather, but I’m really a winter baby and love the snuggling and hot chocolate and did I mention the snuggling that comes along with it.
39. HUGS OR KISSES? Both…
40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Peanut butter cup peanut butter ice cream
41. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? An End to Poverty, The Summer Fletcher Greel Loved Me, Our Kind of People: The Story of the Black Upper Class…heavy stuff.
42. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Mouse pad? What mouse pad…
43. FAVORITE SOUNDS? rain, filthy crazy rap music, my nephew chatting with me, my boyfriend telling me to think calm girlfriend thoughts…
44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Who or who??
45. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? St. Martin (or maybe Toronto is farther…)
46. IF YOU COULD PICK ANY TWO PEOPLE TO HAVE DINNER WITH, WHO WOULD THEY BE? My boyfriend and Bill Clinton. Fun times (smile)…

New Toy...

Look what I just bought. Here's to hoping there is no buyers remorse.

See, here are the issues. At home, I have no internet. At home, I also have no laptop. I used to have both. Now I have neither.

At home, I like to listen to music. To dance. To procrastinate. To scrap. To live. I, clever gal that I am, had rigged up this whole system for being able to do so.

Easy really. On my laptop (which no longer exists) I had downloaded Yahoo Music Unlimited. It was cheap, they had the songs I wanted, and there was free player. It worked. Cause see, you can use the player even when you are not online. It automatically saves all your downloaded subscription music to your computer. Each time I went to BF's place or took the laptop to work, when I was on the player, it would automatically update my playlists and music from other times when I was online and snagging music.

Snazzy.

Then it got wonky. Was giving me error messages on the laptop but still playing. Then said laptop died. On the new computer, I have sound card issues. Really. So the really cool speakers I bought to bump my music from my laptop were really going to waste. Sad.

I really like music. But I really needed a mass storage device (ie, a jump drive).

If I were smart and had done my research, I would have seen that I could have both an MP3 player AND a storage device for transfering files (see above photo). Would have had an FM tuner too to listen to my Kube. But I don't research like that.

This evening, I will pick up the toy above. God help us all if I have download issues after spending hours trying to switch my Yahoo music subscription to the "to go" version so I could listen on this little thing. I'm assuming (yes, I know...) that I can plug my speakers into the headphone jack and fill my home with sound. Lord REALLY help us if that doesn't go down.

Thinking calm girlfriend thoughts.

Column went out today--look for it in print in next Friday's Olympian. All about diversity in scrapbooking and why it matters (smile).

Need to pick up the shredder for the bf at OM on the way home. And then make my way to Paper Zone 2 just to be sure that there are not items there that I couldn't find at the other one to create with. I got out of that place for $55 yesterday! And I bought a tool! No idea what I'm talking about? Check the scrap blog my pretties...

...sOOooOOoo...

...bf is gone. In chi-town. Boozin' it up. Tomorrow night I get to go and play spades. Tonight, if it clears (and i do see patches ofblue) i get to go and take pictures. Then I spend all night long online trying to proof and assemble them. Real fun times.

Work is slow, scrap life is heated, photog times are all consuming. But I do have a bit of nerd fun to explore. Like how the UN is not really hosting an Early Entry Professional program (you think?!) and how I really need to find something to DO with my life. I woke up and laid in bed for a good hour this morning. Contemplating what I had to do...looking out the window...figuring that I didn't really "have" to do anything because everything I wanted to do was fun. So...time to revamp the blogs. I can't believe I've been here for half a year. Time to clean the house (and I mean really clean it). Time to head to the spa.

What a life...to have TIME to do whatever I want. No pressures. No worries. Did I mention I love my life?