Very dirty. Ugh. Procrastination will eventually catch up with you. So went out to Discovery Park with BF today. got to the beach. Well worth the up and downhills. One step at a time. That's how you tackle the steps.
There is a cute little song by Jagged Edge now called Good Luck Charm. Just saw the video yesterday on Access Granted. Now THAT is dirty. Not as dirty as I'm ridin', but we'll get to that.
I need a dining room table. But I don't want to have to haul it down my tram. I need to get it so that it can be delivered on a Wed when I am home so that I can direct them where to bring it. Of course I won't tell them of the obstacle course cause then they may want to charge me more. Or something. You know...I got my fave chairs at Fred Myers for a decent clip (on sale). Maybe I can luck up on a table there. I don't really remember seeing anything decent sized there. I don't need a huge BF worthy one. Just something to fill the space and feed people at. Supposedly I have kinda committed to a March housewarming. Gotta find a date for that.
So...really...I cleaned yesterday and it felt good to get things into their places. Other reason why I want a dining room table is that I was able to read so much more in the dining room. The couch is not conducive to working.
But there is little light when it is dark in the front room. Check that, when it is getting dark. You know...that moment when it is too light for electric lights to be much good, but also too dark to read by natural light.
Anyhow...I might could get home and watch the sunset today. But that means leaving here. Which I don't necessarily want to do. Not really anyhow. I do need to get more cleaning done.
My place looks a lot better now that I have some pictures going up. A couple of rugs and end tables and we'll be good to go. I need to go and get gas before work tomorrow. That's what I should go and do now. Soon as I get up...
Sunday, February 12, 2006
She found us
Girl with. Plural. Found it. That is the plus side of never, ever, EVER throwing anything away...
occassionally you will find something you really wanted to find. Suffice it to say that I am a very happy gal.
She found us. You know. Most people say "I'm going to go out and get a dog." or maybe they even say "We're going to the pound and bringing home a cat." Rarely do people get to say she found us.
This past week, while girlfriend was crashed out on the couch and boyfriend was setting us up to watch that God awful movie (don't ask, don't tell...all I need to say is that wandering around a house should NOT make up 120 minutes of anything), there was quite a ruckus at the back door.
I woke to him opening the door and in she walked. Beautiful Grayson.
Now this dear cat is not at all an outdoor cat. Ever the analyst, BF could rattle off a million and one evidences to this fact. But a cat is a cat. And while she was a bit forward and slept with him on the first date, she had to be booted from bed by 4 or 6 am each morning because all she would do was scream and hollar. Outside she went.
BF was smart enough not to feed her before bed, but his guilty conscience got the better of him and so every night this past week, when he got home from work, it was all about waiting for Grayson to show up and then calling me to ask what he should do with her. Note to those who have made it this far...we're not entirely sure she is a she. Okay...I am not. But then again, I'm not trying to figure it out.
In any event, we help off naming her. Held off feeding her. Caved in last night and bought her a litter box. He plopped her in it and soon came the "Damn you, kitty" as she proptly knew what to do--straight down to scratching over the remains.
Sigh. She has problems though. As in trying to use said box every other minute and not being very productive about it. I told BF that he's going to get to foot the $2g vet bill for whatever is wrong with her...him...it...Grayson. We couldn't figure out why anyone would dump her. She's gorgeous, perfectly trained, great personality...
I'm thinking the impending vet bill will tell the tale of why.
occassionally you will find something you really wanted to find. Suffice it to say that I am a very happy gal.
She found us. You know. Most people say "I'm going to go out and get a dog." or maybe they even say "We're going to the pound and bringing home a cat." Rarely do people get to say she found us.
This past week, while girlfriend was crashed out on the couch and boyfriend was setting us up to watch that God awful movie (don't ask, don't tell...all I need to say is that wandering around a house should NOT make up 120 minutes of anything), there was quite a ruckus at the back door.
I woke to him opening the door and in she walked. Beautiful Grayson.
Now this dear cat is not at all an outdoor cat. Ever the analyst, BF could rattle off a million and one evidences to this fact. But a cat is a cat. And while she was a bit forward and slept with him on the first date, she had to be booted from bed by 4 or 6 am each morning because all she would do was scream and hollar. Outside she went.
BF was smart enough not to feed her before bed, but his guilty conscience got the better of him and so every night this past week, when he got home from work, it was all about waiting for Grayson to show up and then calling me to ask what he should do with her. Note to those who have made it this far...we're not entirely sure she is a she. Okay...I am not. But then again, I'm not trying to figure it out.
In any event, we help off naming her. Held off feeding her. Caved in last night and bought her a litter box. He plopped her in it and soon came the "Damn you, kitty" as she proptly knew what to do--straight down to scratching over the remains.
Sigh. She has problems though. As in trying to use said box every other minute and not being very productive about it. I told BF that he's going to get to foot the $2g vet bill for whatever is wrong with her...him...it...Grayson. We couldn't figure out why anyone would dump her. She's gorgeous, perfectly trained, great personality...
I'm thinking the impending vet bill will tell the tale of why.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Fun. Life is.
So. Yeah then.
Life is fun. Me too. It is a gorgeous day outside and I'm sitting in an office (with a huge window so I can't really complain) longing to be outside. I want to wear spring clothes (which translates to: I want to go shopping) and I want to run around barefoot in the grass.
I even want to go home and clean up.
My goodness. Wednesday I was sitting in my bedroom on the floor doing stuff and the sun was blazing hot. Landlord warned me that it could get rather toasty, but really. It will be an interesting summer. Just will have to keep the few windows that do open in my place cranked open all the time. Wow--probably won't spend much time in my backroom. All the better excuse to get out and go DO something already.
So.
Tomorrow I'm off to have fun with the gals from work. A musical, a dinner, a birthday celebration and they are actually scrapbook fiends. I have to take a camera with me. Really I do. Which reminds me, I have to get on the ball about purchasing another camera. Right now I'm all over borrowing BF's which has treated me well. Very well. But I want to get back into it and so the camera purchase looms long and big.
Oh yeah...I should be planning the fantastic three day weekend getaway for next week. Fun times. I really like having a three day weekend each month.
BF was good about pointing out that while I have two Fridays each week by virtue of the fact that I do not go into the office on Wednesdays, I also have two Mondays a week. Sigh. Good thing of that being that I know exactly what I am in for on Mondays and Thursdays at my job. Papercuts galore making a lot of wannabe lawyers very happy. It is the Tuesday that I fear the most--lots of last minute projects that all have to be done immediately since I won't be back until Thursday. Friday is as Friday does. Right.
So Fun this weekend is hanging out with the girls and then going with BF somewhere on Sunday. Hiking. Now THAT is fun times. Wonder if the other women are going to come along. I think he will relegate one to his bed (if she's nice) and the other might get up in time to go, but likely not. Love them both to death of course (smile).
Kay. Time to go and be boring some more. So many blogs, so little time.
Life is fun. Me too. It is a gorgeous day outside and I'm sitting in an office (with a huge window so I can't really complain) longing to be outside. I want to wear spring clothes (which translates to: I want to go shopping) and I want to run around barefoot in the grass.
I even want to go home and clean up.
My goodness. Wednesday I was sitting in my bedroom on the floor doing stuff and the sun was blazing hot. Landlord warned me that it could get rather toasty, but really. It will be an interesting summer. Just will have to keep the few windows that do open in my place cranked open all the time. Wow--probably won't spend much time in my backroom. All the better excuse to get out and go DO something already.
So.
Tomorrow I'm off to have fun with the gals from work. A musical, a dinner, a birthday celebration and they are actually scrapbook fiends. I have to take a camera with me. Really I do. Which reminds me, I have to get on the ball about purchasing another camera. Right now I'm all over borrowing BF's which has treated me well. Very well. But I want to get back into it and so the camera purchase looms long and big.
Oh yeah...I should be planning the fantastic three day weekend getaway for next week. Fun times. I really like having a three day weekend each month.
BF was good about pointing out that while I have two Fridays each week by virtue of the fact that I do not go into the office on Wednesdays, I also have two Mondays a week. Sigh. Good thing of that being that I know exactly what I am in for on Mondays and Thursdays at my job. Papercuts galore making a lot of wannabe lawyers very happy. It is the Tuesday that I fear the most--lots of last minute projects that all have to be done immediately since I won't be back until Thursday. Friday is as Friday does. Right.
So Fun this weekend is hanging out with the girls and then going with BF somewhere on Sunday. Hiking. Now THAT is fun times. Wonder if the other women are going to come along. I think he will relegate one to his bed (if she's nice) and the other might get up in time to go, but likely not. Love them both to death of course (smile).
Kay. Time to go and be boring some more. So many blogs, so little time.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Forever
That's how long it has been eh? I'm sorry. Really. I'm sorry that I have a life and sometimes cannot take the time to post it for the world to see. Try picking up the phone and giving me a call to get an update. Okay...stalker, you shouldn't do that.
Anyhow. What has been going on.
I admit it. I am soooo a bandwagon fan of the Seahawks. Everyone and their mama (and their daddy too) knows that I am a Cowboys fan through and through. But since they can't get off the pipe long enough to get it together, it was well and good enough to root for the Seahawks.
That preface given, I'm not a bitter diehard lifelong fan who feels that 30 years of waiting means a win should be automatic. BUT...man. To have refs really impact a game like this past Super Bowl. One of the callers to my fave morning show pretty much summed it up when she said that watching the Super Bowl was like watching the last election. Essentially, you know that through and through, life is life and that's the rules, it still sucks when the rules are about rightness instead of justice.
Yeah, the rules are that you have to have overwhelming evidence to overturn a call on the field. But knowing that, why do you call it a touchdown instead of spotting it like you originally thought you should do and THEN reviewing it.
Yeah, the rules are that a receiver cannot push off on the defender, but how about if you call that love tap, you call the rule that the defender cannot touch said defender beyond that initial get up and go jump.
Yeah, the rules say that you cannot block below the knees...
but how about you call it when the block happens, not when the tackle happens.
I had a deeply suppressed scream in me yesterday night. No, not over the game. A game is a game. That scream was moreso for the injustice of it all. Injustice is injustice is injustice. I hate to see folks win who don't deserve it. I hate to see folks screwed who don't deserve it. Yeah. It's just a game. But the "it's just a..." mentality is infectious and spreads far beyond the Super Bowl. As is evidenced by the comments posted to one of BF's fave blogs. As is evidenced by the not so subtle mesage of the movie I watched this weekend (Lord of War--I love Nicholas Cage...).
Sigh. Off the soapbox. Time to get a few more things done. I have so much paperwork to sift through...not to mention so many files to read. I can do this. It's just a matter of making the to-do list and doing it. first up. Take car back to shop and get it looked at again. They enjoyed when I said "BF says that it is likely x..." because now I am not only "stupid chic that we can overcharge who certainly has the funds to pay" but now I'm stupid chick who works with lawyer types and has a bf that has a clue.
Fun.
Working late two nights this week. DL is Wednesday afternoon that I will likely miss. then Saturday it is a girl's night out with power networking for fun. Next week is V-day. Hmmm...
Next week I get a three day weekend. I so need it. So need it.
Anyhow. What has been going on.
I admit it. I am soooo a bandwagon fan of the Seahawks. Everyone and their mama (and their daddy too) knows that I am a Cowboys fan through and through. But since they can't get off the pipe long enough to get it together, it was well and good enough to root for the Seahawks.
That preface given, I'm not a bitter diehard lifelong fan who feels that 30 years of waiting means a win should be automatic. BUT...man. To have refs really impact a game like this past Super Bowl. One of the callers to my fave morning show pretty much summed it up when she said that watching the Super Bowl was like watching the last election. Essentially, you know that through and through, life is life and that's the rules, it still sucks when the rules are about rightness instead of justice.
Yeah, the rules are that you have to have overwhelming evidence to overturn a call on the field. But knowing that, why do you call it a touchdown instead of spotting it like you originally thought you should do and THEN reviewing it.
Yeah, the rules are that a receiver cannot push off on the defender, but how about if you call that love tap, you call the rule that the defender cannot touch said defender beyond that initial get up and go jump.
Yeah, the rules say that you cannot block below the knees...
but how about you call it when the block happens, not when the tackle happens.
I had a deeply suppressed scream in me yesterday night. No, not over the game. A game is a game. That scream was moreso for the injustice of it all. Injustice is injustice is injustice. I hate to see folks win who don't deserve it. I hate to see folks screwed who don't deserve it. Yeah. It's just a game. But the "it's just a..." mentality is infectious and spreads far beyond the Super Bowl. As is evidenced by the comments posted to one of BF's fave blogs. As is evidenced by the not so subtle mesage of the movie I watched this weekend (Lord of War--I love Nicholas Cage...).
Sigh. Off the soapbox. Time to get a few more things done. I have so much paperwork to sift through...not to mention so many files to read. I can do this. It's just a matter of making the to-do list and doing it. first up. Take car back to shop and get it looked at again. They enjoyed when I said "BF says that it is likely x..." because now I am not only "stupid chic that we can overcharge who certainly has the funds to pay" but now I'm stupid chick who works with lawyer types and has a bf that has a clue.
Fun.
Working late two nights this week. DL is Wednesday afternoon that I will likely miss. then Saturday it is a girl's night out with power networking for fun. Next week is V-day. Hmmm...
Next week I get a three day weekend. I so need it. So need it.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Eagles, boarding, BF
They are almost all b's. Maybe if I changed eagles to birds. But they are really so much more than birds.
I admit it. I was skeptical. No, I was Skeptical. I thought "great, we'll be out there for like hours and we'll see two birds flying off somewhere."
Oh should we be so unlucky. Bad thing, we can't find the lens hood/cap thingy and BF is freaking about that. Understandably so since it was rented and now he'll have to pay for it. BUT...my word. Just when I was convinced I would not see any friggin' birds, I spotted my first perch. And they were so easy to spot after that I could not understand why I had never thought to go out and see them before. We were impressed to see about ten of them today. The "serious" birders were all about "wow, we missed them this year."
Evidently, the eagles were early.
But it was so fun to see some and to even see the baby ones. BF never ceases to amaze me in his vast knowledge about anything and everything and it's always fun to go out with him on these journies.
Boarding. Went to the board retreat for the Feminist Women's Health Clinic yesterday. I could go on for a whole other post on my views and thoughts with this group. I'm not radical (we have plenty of those on the board) and I'm not the conservative voice of reason. But I got that tingly "thank you very much" feeling yesterday again. Our facilitator was a well respected local non-profit/fundraising consultant. At the one break we had yesterday, she asked what I do for a living. Told her "I'm not a lawyer, I just make them." and she then wanted to know what I did before that. Gist of it finally coming down to her saying she was thoroughly amazed with my input because she would have expected it from someone twice my age.
This would have been nothing much except (and I guess this confirms her observation) that I had heard a lot of similar comments like that this week. To the point that I had to ask BF if I was "old". I asked because I tend to find that people older than me think I'm mature for my age--as if to say my generation is a bunch of slackers. Folks in my gen (or slightly older) tend to think I'm smart, but nothing totally "out there". Younger folks tend to think I'm younger than I am. Not immature, but just younger. I tried to explain that I was raised a good portion of my formidable years by my grandmother and try to funnel my decisions through a "what would she do" lens. The facilitator said "some of it. but really, I think you just seem to look at and process the world around you in a way very unique to what I have seen from most people--regardless of age." Essentially, she went on to say that I tend to pay attention. This in the midst of catching me doodling Hall of Fame wannabe layouts. Note to self--we will not be entering this year if we have to pay more than $20 to ship off the entry. No more overnight express. The payoff is not worth it.
BF. He is fantastic. And then some. I love watching him think. Had a little heart to heart last night because I'm at the point where I just really think he needs to know who I am before we get too much farther into this. I'm really falling for him. I mean, I've fallen for him as is my typical infatuation with the new. But now that the newness is very much wearing off (we're going on a year of knowing each other in April--still some time for a year actually together, but still--I can distinctly separate my life into before knowing him and after), I'm really trying to let down that guard of not really getting wrapped up in someone. I had the guts/nerve to assure him that I'm not his ex-wife or his ex anything. So now I have to understand that he's not my ex-husband or my ex anything either. Living in the moment is good. But it is time to start being afraid of living for the next moment too. Time to start thinking about what next.
Reading is done for the evening. I actually get to go home, climb into bed and sleep. Payday couldn't come sooner. Got a really great idea for something and can't justify tapping into savings for it. Have to do some budget adjusting to factor in the once a month paycheck thing. Which sorta blows, but really is probably a good thing at this stage of life when I should be saving a lot more and thinking about what I want to do with life. Be that lots more travel, finally buy a place, get the consulting gig launched (note to self, remember to email Jon tomorrow)... Time to get up and do. I've coasted for a bit and now need to hit the gas.
I admit it. I was skeptical. No, I was Skeptical. I thought "great, we'll be out there for like hours and we'll see two birds flying off somewhere."
Oh should we be so unlucky. Bad thing, we can't find the lens hood/cap thingy and BF is freaking about that. Understandably so since it was rented and now he'll have to pay for it. BUT...my word. Just when I was convinced I would not see any friggin' birds, I spotted my first perch. And they were so easy to spot after that I could not understand why I had never thought to go out and see them before. We were impressed to see about ten of them today. The "serious" birders were all about "wow, we missed them this year."
Evidently, the eagles were early.
But it was so fun to see some and to even see the baby ones. BF never ceases to amaze me in his vast knowledge about anything and everything and it's always fun to go out with him on these journies.
Boarding. Went to the board retreat for the Feminist Women's Health Clinic yesterday. I could go on for a whole other post on my views and thoughts with this group. I'm not radical (we have plenty of those on the board) and I'm not the conservative voice of reason. But I got that tingly "thank you very much" feeling yesterday again. Our facilitator was a well respected local non-profit/fundraising consultant. At the one break we had yesterday, she asked what I do for a living. Told her "I'm not a lawyer, I just make them." and she then wanted to know what I did before that. Gist of it finally coming down to her saying she was thoroughly amazed with my input because she would have expected it from someone twice my age.
This would have been nothing much except (and I guess this confirms her observation) that I had heard a lot of similar comments like that this week. To the point that I had to ask BF if I was "old". I asked because I tend to find that people older than me think I'm mature for my age--as if to say my generation is a bunch of slackers. Folks in my gen (or slightly older) tend to think I'm smart, but nothing totally "out there". Younger folks tend to think I'm younger than I am. Not immature, but just younger. I tried to explain that I was raised a good portion of my formidable years by my grandmother and try to funnel my decisions through a "what would she do" lens. The facilitator said "some of it. but really, I think you just seem to look at and process the world around you in a way very unique to what I have seen from most people--regardless of age." Essentially, she went on to say that I tend to pay attention. This in the midst of catching me doodling Hall of Fame wannabe layouts. Note to self--we will not be entering this year if we have to pay more than $20 to ship off the entry. No more overnight express. The payoff is not worth it.
BF. He is fantastic. And then some. I love watching him think. Had a little heart to heart last night because I'm at the point where I just really think he needs to know who I am before we get too much farther into this. I'm really falling for him. I mean, I've fallen for him as is my typical infatuation with the new. But now that the newness is very much wearing off (we're going on a year of knowing each other in April--still some time for a year actually together, but still--I can distinctly separate my life into before knowing him and after), I'm really trying to let down that guard of not really getting wrapped up in someone. I had the guts/nerve to assure him that I'm not his ex-wife or his ex anything. So now I have to understand that he's not my ex-husband or my ex anything either. Living in the moment is good. But it is time to start being afraid of living for the next moment too. Time to start thinking about what next.
Reading is done for the evening. I actually get to go home, climb into bed and sleep. Payday couldn't come sooner. Got a really great idea for something and can't justify tapping into savings for it. Have to do some budget adjusting to factor in the once a month paycheck thing. Which sorta blows, but really is probably a good thing at this stage of life when I should be saving a lot more and thinking about what I want to do with life. Be that lots more travel, finally buy a place, get the consulting gig launched (note to self, remember to email Jon tomorrow)... Time to get up and do. I've coasted for a bit and now need to hit the gas.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Good word
I can think of many right now. But none of them are good. it is Friday night. about an hour since I should have left. And I sit. Waiting for 7200 emails to go out under MY email address (probably shut down the whole server in the process) and REALLY looking forward to the bounce from 7200 worth of bad emails.
I suppose I could do the papercut version of this. Or we could just pay someone to mail out the paper copies. I should calculate it out. My hourly rate plus the hours additionally it will take for me to get trained on how to do this the RIGHT way (instead of the WE way) and to clean up the mess from this...
I really do think it would be cheaper to pay the $1000 to just mail them already.
Anyhow.
Oh happy day! Got to go out with BF (actually convinced his roomie to come out too) and Andrea and crew on the "East Side". Yuppie ville. Gotta love it. I do. I love people watching though. BF can't stand it.
Tomorrow I have a board meeting I will likely get lost trying to find. Tonight is tacos and a movie. Sunday is bird picture taking (well, Eagles...but they're birds last time I checked).
Time for me to assume that the email will go out and just go home. I found out that I'm going to be published again. I'm super psyched about that. I'll update the scrappy blog with more information but the detectives among us will figure it out.
Still gotta serve my landlord. Acting a fool. Filed. Should put that date on my calendar.
Going south to Palm Springs for Easter. That should be fun to see BF in his habitat. Then I really need to start planning for time back in El Paso.
Saw Glory Road. I can't believe how you can grow up all your life knowing someone, but not really knowing them. I come from a basketball family in El Paso and it took the rolling credits at the end for me to place some of those players in context within my life. I'm ever fascinated by how few degrees tend to separate me from the aha moments (and people) of my life.
Okay. Bus calls. Probably not now that it is past rush/rush hour. Sigh...
I suppose I could do the papercut version of this. Or we could just pay someone to mail out the paper copies. I should calculate it out. My hourly rate plus the hours additionally it will take for me to get trained on how to do this the RIGHT way (instead of the WE way) and to clean up the mess from this...
I really do think it would be cheaper to pay the $1000 to just mail them already.
Anyhow.
Oh happy day! Got to go out with BF (actually convinced his roomie to come out too) and Andrea and crew on the "East Side". Yuppie ville. Gotta love it. I do. I love people watching though. BF can't stand it.
Tomorrow I have a board meeting I will likely get lost trying to find. Tonight is tacos and a movie. Sunday is bird picture taking (well, Eagles...but they're birds last time I checked).
Time for me to assume that the email will go out and just go home. I found out that I'm going to be published again. I'm super psyched about that. I'll update the scrappy blog with more information but the detectives among us will figure it out.
Still gotta serve my landlord. Acting a fool. Filed. Should put that date on my calendar.
Going south to Palm Springs for Easter. That should be fun to see BF in his habitat. Then I really need to start planning for time back in El Paso.
Saw Glory Road. I can't believe how you can grow up all your life knowing someone, but not really knowing them. I come from a basketball family in El Paso and it took the rolling credits at the end for me to place some of those players in context within my life. I'm ever fascinated by how few degrees tend to separate me from the aha moments (and people) of my life.
Okay. Bus calls. Probably not now that it is past rush/rush hour. Sigh...
Friday, January 20, 2006
Life
is wierd
is weak
is precious
is odd
is here
is now.
Not very colorful today though. Posted on my other blog about the sw fiasco of a day and though it is not raining outside, god is it raining in here. Few more moments until I have to get it together and go back to work but man it is one of those days.
I'm definitely hormonal. no doubt to that.
I find it highly ironic that I can sit in my posh little job deciding on real life decisions--not just who will get paid $150 a month in scrapbooking product, but real life decisions like what people will get to do with the next 20-40 years of their lives and here I sit shook over not making the cut.
How is that for life?
I find it highly odd that I've got not only a friggin' ivy league degree, but a master's degree to complement it and I'm sitting her worried about whether or not I can compete in the "sport of stay at home moms" so many of my friends have taken to calling my little hobby/side gig.
How is that for life?
I find it downright disturbing that instead of thinking of the real goals at hand, you know, making sure I am really setting myself up to do the consulting I want to do that will change the world someday, instead, I'm trying to figure out if it is anywhere near worth my time to even try for Hall of Fame. Disturbing because really, logically, I know I should spend that time really prepping to take over the world in a far more realistic endeavor.
Scrapbooking. Sigh. Not really for me. I'm overeducated. Live in the wrong part of the country. Don't have enough kids. Don't have the requisite husband. Work too much outside of the home. Get PAID too much for the work I do outside of the home. Really don't have a very unique talent. Really have TOO unique a talent. Have a bit too much melanin. Might be a bit too thin. Might be a tad shy of perky enough...
Definitely don't have a thick enough skin for Type A Scrapbooking.
is weak
is precious
is odd
is here
is now.
Not very colorful today though. Posted on my other blog about the sw fiasco of a day and though it is not raining outside, god is it raining in here. Few more moments until I have to get it together and go back to work but man it is one of those days.
I'm definitely hormonal. no doubt to that.
I find it highly ironic that I can sit in my posh little job deciding on real life decisions--not just who will get paid $150 a month in scrapbooking product, but real life decisions like what people will get to do with the next 20-40 years of their lives and here I sit shook over not making the cut.
How is that for life?
I find it highly odd that I've got not only a friggin' ivy league degree, but a master's degree to complement it and I'm sitting her worried about whether or not I can compete in the "sport of stay at home moms" so many of my friends have taken to calling my little hobby/side gig.
How is that for life?
I find it downright disturbing that instead of thinking of the real goals at hand, you know, making sure I am really setting myself up to do the consulting I want to do that will change the world someday, instead, I'm trying to figure out if it is anywhere near worth my time to even try for Hall of Fame. Disturbing because really, logically, I know I should spend that time really prepping to take over the world in a far more realistic endeavor.
Scrapbooking. Sigh. Not really for me. I'm overeducated. Live in the wrong part of the country. Don't have enough kids. Don't have the requisite husband. Work too much outside of the home. Get PAID too much for the work I do outside of the home. Really don't have a very unique talent. Really have TOO unique a talent. Have a bit too much melanin. Might be a bit too thin. Might be a tad shy of perky enough...
Definitely don't have a thick enough skin for Type A Scrapbooking.
I'm way too hormonal for it really.
Life. It's pretty off skew and off kelter when your life revolves around scrapbooking for the noteriety instead of scrapbooking for the fun of it. I don't do "fun". That's my problem.
Life. It's pretty off skew and off kelter when your life revolves around scrapbooking for the noteriety instead of scrapbooking for the fun of it. I don't do "fun". That's my problem.
"Hi...my name is ______ and I have a problem."
Monday, January 16, 2006
Fireworks
There are cool little towns in America. Well, at least in places like NM, AZ and WA.
This weekend, the BF so graciously plotted a little getaway for us to a town called Leavenworth. We went for Ice Fest.
So we left at way too early on Saturday morning because I wanted to see the dog pulling competition. Never seen it before and probably won't make much of a point of seeing it again because there is something about some of the ultra-competitive handlers that are there more for the points than the love of what their dogs can do. In any event, there were some gigantic dogs there.
yeah.
Had some fantastic tomato basil bisque, saw a new book by J. Diamond (Collapse) that I want to get and then went and had a great time back at the hotel kicking it until we went out for fireworks. After fireworks, went back to the hotel, nice little WOOD fire...fun times.
Viewed some models, came back home watched The Office and West Wing...done.
Time to go home.
This weekend, the BF so graciously plotted a little getaway for us to a town called Leavenworth. We went for Ice Fest.
So we left at way too early on Saturday morning because I wanted to see the dog pulling competition. Never seen it before and probably won't make much of a point of seeing it again because there is something about some of the ultra-competitive handlers that are there more for the points than the love of what their dogs can do. In any event, there were some gigantic dogs there.
yeah.
Had some fantastic tomato basil bisque, saw a new book by J. Diamond (Collapse) that I want to get and then went and had a great time back at the hotel kicking it until we went out for fireworks. After fireworks, went back to the hotel, nice little WOOD fire...fun times.
Viewed some models, came back home watched The Office and West Wing...done.
Time to go home.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Landlord crap...
tired. really. And I've gotten to bed at a decent hour both of the last two nights.
Just got the letter from my old landlord. She's trying to tell me I owe $6500. So I gotta take her to court to get my security deposit back. Which is really not so much what I want as not to have her trying to send me through collections.
Here are the issues, I'm having--lawyers among you feel free to weigh in:
She listed a late fee for Oct. 05 of $40.00. This was the month that she lost my rent check. I don't have it in writing that she waived the fee, but I do have the paper trail of me writing to her about it because she initiated a 3 day "pay up or get out" deal. Soon as I got that, I hunted her down and we had the chat where she noted she must have lost the check and she waived the fee. I have the receipts for rent from October and November and December where none of them note a carry over of the $40 fee still due or that I paid it. She's tacking this on after the fact.
For cleaning, she lists a full clean with shampoo for $100. That's fine. She charges a $225 cleaning fee to clean the carpets and paint the apartment. That shouldn't be deducted from my damage deposit unless it is above and beyond. I lived there 6 months and took plenty of pictures to show that I didn't damage the carpet. However, I did mention to her that my toilet had overflowed so she probably charged me for the plumbing crap that caused my moveout.
For repair, she notes "full paint at $100 for material and $100 for labor". Again, it specifically notes in my lease that painting is required after each move out and that is what the cleaning fee is for. If she already requires that and it is in a non-refundable fee I have to pay, I am not understanding how she can double charge me for it.
Under misc, she notes the costs of Roto-Rooter coming out to my apartment. She NEVER got authorization from me to have them come out for one. Secondly, she never asked me to pay for any of these visits in the months that they happened. She noted 8/16 and 11/9. Roto Rooter did not visit MY apartment on either of these dates. They visited back in June.
She wants to try and charge me for the 1.5 months rent special at a rate of 937.50. My contention is that I didn't break the lease. Her non-fixing of the problem is why I moved. If she would have fixed the problem, I would still be there in my lease. Secondly, there was a half month free with a 6 month lease. I stayed there for 6 months so at the least, I should get that half month special. Also, she tries to charge me the $1000.00 lease cancellation fee. Yes, it is in my contract, but again, I didn't cancel the lease. She didn't fix the problems, so I had to move.
Further, the $1000 is for the efforts to release the place. I came up with three viable renters for her and asked for permission to sublet to mitigate her costs and not have to break my lease. She would never grant permission.
Essentially, she is telling me that I forfeit my deposit, but does not give a breakdown of what she is charging against that deposit in terms of damange. The whole deposit I gave her was $500. So from there, she should deduct the cleaning of $100 and the repairs (painting) of $200. That's $75 more than the cleaning fee, but I should get the rest of my deposit. Under my premise of moving out under the RCWs, I don't think she can hold my deposit or extra rent (she also notes my move out as 12/31 when in fact I vacated on 12/28) as a lease break.
Good thing I work for a law school now. Fun times.
So...to court we go since the almost illegible fine print at the bottom of the page says that accounts not paid within 30 days will be turned over to collection.
Just got the letter from my old landlord. She's trying to tell me I owe $6500. So I gotta take her to court to get my security deposit back. Which is really not so much what I want as not to have her trying to send me through collections.
Here are the issues, I'm having--lawyers among you feel free to weigh in:
She listed a late fee for Oct. 05 of $40.00. This was the month that she lost my rent check. I don't have it in writing that she waived the fee, but I do have the paper trail of me writing to her about it because she initiated a 3 day "pay up or get out" deal. Soon as I got that, I hunted her down and we had the chat where she noted she must have lost the check and she waived the fee. I have the receipts for rent from October and November and December where none of them note a carry over of the $40 fee still due or that I paid it. She's tacking this on after the fact.
For cleaning, she lists a full clean with shampoo for $100. That's fine. She charges a $225 cleaning fee to clean the carpets and paint the apartment. That shouldn't be deducted from my damage deposit unless it is above and beyond. I lived there 6 months and took plenty of pictures to show that I didn't damage the carpet. However, I did mention to her that my toilet had overflowed so she probably charged me for the plumbing crap that caused my moveout.
For repair, she notes "full paint at $100 for material and $100 for labor". Again, it specifically notes in my lease that painting is required after each move out and that is what the cleaning fee is for. If she already requires that and it is in a non-refundable fee I have to pay, I am not understanding how she can double charge me for it.
Under misc, she notes the costs of Roto-Rooter coming out to my apartment. She NEVER got authorization from me to have them come out for one. Secondly, she never asked me to pay for any of these visits in the months that they happened. She noted 8/16 and 11/9. Roto Rooter did not visit MY apartment on either of these dates. They visited back in June.
She wants to try and charge me for the 1.5 months rent special at a rate of 937.50. My contention is that I didn't break the lease. Her non-fixing of the problem is why I moved. If she would have fixed the problem, I would still be there in my lease. Secondly, there was a half month free with a 6 month lease. I stayed there for 6 months so at the least, I should get that half month special. Also, she tries to charge me the $1000.00 lease cancellation fee. Yes, it is in my contract, but again, I didn't cancel the lease. She didn't fix the problems, so I had to move.
Further, the $1000 is for the efforts to release the place. I came up with three viable renters for her and asked for permission to sublet to mitigate her costs and not have to break my lease. She would never grant permission.
Essentially, she is telling me that I forfeit my deposit, but does not give a breakdown of what she is charging against that deposit in terms of damange. The whole deposit I gave her was $500. So from there, she should deduct the cleaning of $100 and the repairs (painting) of $200. That's $75 more than the cleaning fee, but I should get the rest of my deposit. Under my premise of moving out under the RCWs, I don't think she can hold my deposit or extra rent (she also notes my move out as 12/31 when in fact I vacated on 12/28) as a lease break.
Good thing I work for a law school now. Fun times.
So...to court we go since the almost illegible fine print at the bottom of the page says that accounts not paid within 30 days will be turned over to collection.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
dagnabit
Tired. Bone tired. I layed in bed a good hour this morning contemplating whether or not I wanted to take the bus to work. You see, I can drive up the road and hop the bus, but then I only have a very limited window of opportunity for getting the bus back to the car. I could drive forever to where the BF parks, but then I might well just drive to campus. Driving to campus—plenty of parking, but I only have a pass for 5 days a month. Sigh…to give up the bus pass or not to. That is the question.
Social responsibility is for the birds. The seagulls at that.
Stormy, stormy night. As in waves splashed up on the deck. Fun. And I slept through most of it.
Tonight, let’s try not to take work home. Really. Really. Delegation is a good thing. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Day after is the MLK Jr. dinner. Day after is the MLK Jr. luncheon. Then there is a three day weekend. God I love working in higher education.
What am I qualified to do? What am I pushing to do? Why am I here loving the easy life when I should be joining the struggle? Sigh. My brain hurts. Telling people no hurts even more. Laughing my butt off at lunch is even more painful. I love it.
Speaking of pain. Time to get in shape. Next year. Or so.
Back to the rat race. I almost thought I heard rats this morning. Then I realized it was just a branch scraping my window. Phew.
Social responsibility is for the birds. The seagulls at that.
Stormy, stormy night. As in waves splashed up on the deck. Fun. And I slept through most of it.
Tonight, let’s try not to take work home. Really. Really. Delegation is a good thing. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Day after is the MLK Jr. dinner. Day after is the MLK Jr. luncheon. Then there is a three day weekend. God I love working in higher education.
What am I qualified to do? What am I pushing to do? Why am I here loving the easy life when I should be joining the struggle? Sigh. My brain hurts. Telling people no hurts even more. Laughing my butt off at lunch is even more painful. I love it.
Speaking of pain. Time to get in shape. Next year. Or so.
Back to the rat race. I almost thought I heard rats this morning. Then I realized it was just a branch scraping my window. Phew.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Boxed out
Another day, another moment. Woke up to three alarms—one the nifty new alarm clock boyfriend gave me. Two, the trusty standby cell phone just in case the alarm clock wasn’t set right. Three, the seagulls. My good word.
Love my place. Such a lucky find.
Blah rain. Blah, blah, more rain. Time to actually work now. Call me girl with pearl earring. Sigh. Settling in. Need to do a grocery run. Need a tv stand. Need to really finish unpacking (really…as in hang the curtains—BF gets to drill for that—unpack the scrap room, get it all together. Yeah.
No internet at home. What is a girl to do? Go to BF’s place of course. Of course.
My poinsettia is almost dead (almost) and I had a healthy dose of laughter at lunch with a good long lost (well found really) friend. Yet another of those “are we living up to our potential moments.” The master plan needs work. I know it.
Looking forward to washing clothes. Not putting them up mind you, but washing them and drying them sure. And maybe hanging that big bad bag of them up. Will weed through and rid myself of the stuff I will honest to God never wear. And then buy more. Sigh. I need a more professional look. So I think.
Rugs. A couple or so would be nice so my feet don’t freeze. Yeah and an oil change. Ugh. Oil. Change. Borders gift certificate to spend because, as BF says, it is not like I have oh so many books right? Challenge for the day. {s}he who guesses closest to how many books I have gets to reduce my stash by 1. Hey…it’s not everyday I get rid of a book.
Because some of you are adamantly opposed to letting folks know you’re into the blog thing, I suppose I’ll accept answers via email. But I’ll grumble at you. Growl.
Love my place. Such a lucky find.
Blah rain. Blah, blah, more rain. Time to actually work now. Call me girl with pearl earring. Sigh. Settling in. Need to do a grocery run. Need a tv stand. Need to really finish unpacking (really…as in hang the curtains—BF gets to drill for that—unpack the scrap room, get it all together. Yeah.
No internet at home. What is a girl to do? Go to BF’s place of course. Of course.
My poinsettia is almost dead (almost) and I had a healthy dose of laughter at lunch with a good long lost (well found really) friend. Yet another of those “are we living up to our potential moments.” The master plan needs work. I know it.
Looking forward to washing clothes. Not putting them up mind you, but washing them and drying them sure. And maybe hanging that big bad bag of them up. Will weed through and rid myself of the stuff I will honest to God never wear. And then buy more. Sigh. I need a more professional look. So I think.
Rugs. A couple or so would be nice so my feet don’t freeze. Yeah and an oil change. Ugh. Oil. Change. Borders gift certificate to spend because, as BF says, it is not like I have oh so many books right? Challenge for the day. {s}he who guesses closest to how many books I have gets to reduce my stash by 1. Hey…it’s not everyday I get rid of a book.
Because some of you are adamantly opposed to letting folks know you’re into the blog thing, I suppose I’ll accept answers via email. But I’ll grumble at you. Growl.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
blankity, blank, blank
Okay. I have so much to say and 10 seconds to say it. So a top 10 list is in order with a need to fill in the blankity blank blanks tomorrow. Or so.
10. Water views rock
West Seattle. Lots of kayak people. And water fowl. And other stuff. Just enough to keep me entertained long enough to not watch tv, not read a book and not do any other work (ie scrap, read, create...).
9. Space for tall girls is a good thing.
I have a whole room with nothing in it. A big room. I have grande schemes for it. And my bedroom is only half full. More plans. And my scrap room and a half...goodness. Tiny kitchen, but who cooks anyhow? Yeah...we'll work on that.
8. Crisis management affirmations
Deadline? What deadline? Tuition? Yeah, that's a lot of money...if you're buying a slipcover for a sofa. If you're paying for college, it's a drop in the bucket. Money is to be spent, not horded. Yeah, there is retirement. Yeah there is tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow might not come. But that is why today is important. Understanding the concept of "enough" and living beyond, beneath and within that. So tuition is nothing. Reading hundreds of applications is nothing. Meeting three major deadlines is nothing. Appreciating others is everything. Especially when those others so deserve appreciation and affirmation.
7. Bernadette Master Plan
Yeah. Let me get back to you on that one. Main ingredients? Me. Him. Her. Them. A healthy dash of giving, a grandiose shake of happiness and a pound of smiles. Lots of camera clicks (to taste) and many, many deep breaths. Incumbate. let hatch when ready.
6. Job. Love it. Rocks.
Create that newsletter. Monitor that phone a thon. Work with those students. Read that file again. End of the day, leave it at work and go home and do your other job well. End of allotted time, leave that one aside and go do your third job fantastically well. Enjoy life. Enjoy this space. Wow...how many people are as lucky as me?
5. Stuff, stuff, and more stuff. In boxes
Almost all out of boxes. I have a lot of stuff. And even more space. And time, resources and wherewithall to fill it. Materialistic? Hardly. High maintenance? Depends on who you ask I suppose. happy? Oh yes definitely. nothing better than shopping through your own boxes of fantastically fun stuff that has been packed up forever for lack of space to display it.
4. Party here, party, there, popular girl returns
Fun times at BF's neighbor's place. Fun cooked stuff and good company to have fun with. Then we had to "move my stuff." Well, my junk in my trunk out at the resort that is. Another party next Friday. This time at my neighbor's place. Symphony Saturday. I think I have a board meeting Sunday. Uh huh. Where's that calendar again? Oh yeah...space to post it to the wall again. How fun is that?!
3. snow. rain. snow.
Or is it rain, snow, rain. No matter. I remarked how wonderful is it to live life like this: Wake up in the morning, drop the kayak. Get bored, hop in the car and strap on the skis (snow). Come back home and walk the beach. In December. Did I mention how much I love Seattle today? Right...never in a million days did I ever think I would visit this place. Much less get educated out here, work out here, live out here and now play out here.
2. camera? what camera?
Yeah...should get on that purchase. I miss taking pictures. Really I do. I have plenty to scrap (what scrapper doesn't) but I feel as though I'm missing lots of life. Definitely missing lots of BF pictures...and that's a big one.
1. broken promises
Yeah...daily. I know. But life is so busy. In a happy, happy, happy way. 3 pm...where is my home at now?
Uncensored. I promise[d]. yeah!!
10. Water views rock
West Seattle. Lots of kayak people. And water fowl. And other stuff. Just enough to keep me entertained long enough to not watch tv, not read a book and not do any other work (ie scrap, read, create...).
9. Space for tall girls is a good thing.
I have a whole room with nothing in it. A big room. I have grande schemes for it. And my bedroom is only half full. More plans. And my scrap room and a half...goodness. Tiny kitchen, but who cooks anyhow? Yeah...we'll work on that.
8. Crisis management affirmations
Deadline? What deadline? Tuition? Yeah, that's a lot of money...if you're buying a slipcover for a sofa. If you're paying for college, it's a drop in the bucket. Money is to be spent, not horded. Yeah, there is retirement. Yeah there is tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow might not come. But that is why today is important. Understanding the concept of "enough" and living beyond, beneath and within that. So tuition is nothing. Reading hundreds of applications is nothing. Meeting three major deadlines is nothing. Appreciating others is everything. Especially when those others so deserve appreciation and affirmation.
7. Bernadette Master Plan
Yeah. Let me get back to you on that one. Main ingredients? Me. Him. Her. Them. A healthy dash of giving, a grandiose shake of happiness and a pound of smiles. Lots of camera clicks (to taste) and many, many deep breaths. Incumbate. let hatch when ready.
6. Job. Love it. Rocks.
Create that newsletter. Monitor that phone a thon. Work with those students. Read that file again. End of the day, leave it at work and go home and do your other job well. End of allotted time, leave that one aside and go do your third job fantastically well. Enjoy life. Enjoy this space. Wow...how many people are as lucky as me?
5. Stuff, stuff, and more stuff. In boxes
Almost all out of boxes. I have a lot of stuff. And even more space. And time, resources and wherewithall to fill it. Materialistic? Hardly. High maintenance? Depends on who you ask I suppose. happy? Oh yes definitely. nothing better than shopping through your own boxes of fantastically fun stuff that has been packed up forever for lack of space to display it.
4. Party here, party, there, popular girl returns
Fun times at BF's neighbor's place. Fun cooked stuff and good company to have fun with. Then we had to "move my stuff." Well, my junk in my trunk out at the resort that is. Another party next Friday. This time at my neighbor's place. Symphony Saturday. I think I have a board meeting Sunday. Uh huh. Where's that calendar again? Oh yeah...space to post it to the wall again. How fun is that?!
3. snow. rain. snow.
Or is it rain, snow, rain. No matter. I remarked how wonderful is it to live life like this: Wake up in the morning, drop the kayak. Get bored, hop in the car and strap on the skis (snow). Come back home and walk the beach. In December. Did I mention how much I love Seattle today? Right...never in a million days did I ever think I would visit this place. Much less get educated out here, work out here, live out here and now play out here.
2. camera? what camera?
Yeah...should get on that purchase. I miss taking pictures. Really I do. I have plenty to scrap (what scrapper doesn't) but I feel as though I'm missing lots of life. Definitely missing lots of BF pictures...and that's a big one.
1. broken promises
Yeah...daily. I know. But life is so busy. In a happy, happy, happy way. 3 pm...where is my home at now?
Uncensored. I promise[d]. yeah!!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Confounded...*@&#&
So.
Why is it that the other day, when I saw a stalled car blocking traffic at the corner of 4th and Marion, my first thought was “I wonder, if that were a car bomb, if I would be safe from the blast at this distance.”
So.
Why is it that my landlord totally flipped her lid and now is going to be stuck finding a new tenant, cleaning an apartment and taking me to court when she could have just as easily said “fine, I’ll fix the sh$tter” or, just as easily “I don’t care, sublet the place already.”
So.
Why is it that it is December 21 and I have yet to really do any Christmas shopping yet I still manage to have way too many gifts for the BF? He’s going to freak out.
So. So. Yeah…so.
The car didn’t blow up. Someone brought the driver some gas and I was only 18 minutes late.
The landlord, bless her soul, is disturbed. very.
I’m one crafty chick. I think he’ll love all of the gifts and we’ve already agreed not to play the “you got more” or “you spent more” game. I kinda stuck to the “rules” and only intend to get him one major gift. But I fathom that he’ll like the others better.
So, so, so. Ho, ho, ho [pimp]. I love The Office. That show is so very wrong and it makes me laugh so very hard. Welcome to America outside of the protected world of my Office of Diversity & Equity. [censored] Well…well.
Uncensored blog coming back soon. really. Lunch is over. really.
Why is it that the other day, when I saw a stalled car blocking traffic at the corner of 4th and Marion, my first thought was “I wonder, if that were a car bomb, if I would be safe from the blast at this distance.”
So.
Why is it that my landlord totally flipped her lid and now is going to be stuck finding a new tenant, cleaning an apartment and taking me to court when she could have just as easily said “fine, I’ll fix the sh$tter” or, just as easily “I don’t care, sublet the place already.”
So.
Why is it that it is December 21 and I have yet to really do any Christmas shopping yet I still manage to have way too many gifts for the BF? He’s going to freak out.
So. So. Yeah…so.
The car didn’t blow up. Someone brought the driver some gas and I was only 18 minutes late.
The landlord, bless her soul, is disturbed. very.
I’m one crafty chick. I think he’ll love all of the gifts and we’ve already agreed not to play the “you got more” or “you spent more” game. I kinda stuck to the “rules” and only intend to get him one major gift. But I fathom that he’ll like the others better.
So, so, so. Ho, ho, ho [pimp]. I love The Office. That show is so very wrong and it makes me laugh so very hard. Welcome to America outside of the protected world of my Office of Diversity & Equity. [censored] Well…well.
Uncensored blog coming back soon. really. Lunch is over. really.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Just. Say. It.
What an amazing weekend. Got off of work on Friday, hopped the bus to get downtown. Walked most of the hill to hop the bus. Loved the fresh, crisp Seattle air. God I love this city.
Got downtown. The lights are GORGEOUS. I love the simple things--simple white lights give the city an innocent glow.
We got home, popped in a movie of my choosing (General's Daughter) and I promptly fell asleep halfway through. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. He says it has something to do with me working a job with real hours and the commute it takes to get there. Maybe.
Woke up in time to stay awake for the ride south to Oly. Slept in my bed on a Friday night.
Awoke relatively early on Saturday and headed further south to Portland. Evidently not early enough because we didn't make it in time to get breakfast before we arrived. No biggie.
Checked into the Paramount and the valet saved the day (and the ticket). Walked around in the frigid frio cold to get to Powell's--the highlight of any Portland trip. Bought:
Met by the roommate at Powell's and headed over to Rocco's (the original) for pizza. Checked the local rags for something to do. Adamant opposition to the Nutcracker and so we roamed. And roamed. Then napped. Then asked.
Jaime, the concierge sent us to Harrison's where lively discussion solidified my unwaivering belief in "us" now and for a long time to come. Back to the Paramount and then back out for live jazz and crayon encrypted messages as Brasserie Montmarte.
hangman. I've hung myself for not asking the followup. Never say never, but the curse of the "you should have saids" will follow me even now in my old age. Maybe moreso now in my old age where the comebacks are not nearly as witty. Or as quick.
4 letters. Second is "o", fourth is "e". Yeah I knew it. But I was too scared to say it. Because then I would have had to ask. And if he said "I really care for you..." or even if he said "I think one day I might..." And if he said "Yeah I do"? Then what do I say?
He told me the word. I smiled a smile I have not smiled in close to forever. But I didn't ask. In some ways, it was enough. In others, I feel I let him down.
On the way back, drove by St. Helens. He's never been. Unfortunately, they advised against Coldwater and I think Johnston is closed this time of year. 80 mph gusts and a front moving in. Of course we saw it clear as day on the way back out. I promised. That's a promise I will hold. I love holding promises for him and carrying them out.
Side fieldtrip to Ocean Shores. Ocean City state park. Uhhh no. But Ocean Shores in December. The crashing waves. And crash landing birds. And walking in the surf with the shutter going off. And getting to drive all the way back to Oly.
I'm afraid to wake up. This feels too good. Too imperfectly perfect. If only we would just say it already.
Got downtown. The lights are GORGEOUS. I love the simple things--simple white lights give the city an innocent glow.
We got home, popped in a movie of my choosing (General's Daughter) and I promptly fell asleep halfway through. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. He says it has something to do with me working a job with real hours and the commute it takes to get there. Maybe.
Woke up in time to stay awake for the ride south to Oly. Slept in my bed on a Friday night.
Awoke relatively early on Saturday and headed further south to Portland. Evidently not early enough because we didn't make it in time to get breakfast before we arrived. No biggie.
Checked into the Paramount and the valet saved the day (and the ticket). Walked around in the frigid frio cold to get to Powell's--the highlight of any Portland trip. Bought:
Don't Play in the Sun by Marita Golden
In the Garden of Our Dreams by Shirlee Taylor Haizlip & Harold C. Haizlip
gal a true life by Ruthie Bolton
gal a true life by Ruthie Bolton
"And don't call me a racist!" by Ella Mazel
gotta get Shifting (??) by the African American Women Voices Project
Met by the roommate at Powell's and headed over to Rocco's (the original) for pizza. Checked the local rags for something to do. Adamant opposition to the Nutcracker and so we roamed. And roamed. Then napped. Then asked.
Jaime, the concierge sent us to Harrison's where lively discussion solidified my unwaivering belief in "us" now and for a long time to come. Back to the Paramount and then back out for live jazz and crayon encrypted messages as Brasserie Montmarte.
hangman. I've hung myself for not asking the followup. Never say never, but the curse of the "you should have saids" will follow me even now in my old age. Maybe moreso now in my old age where the comebacks are not nearly as witty. Or as quick.
4 letters. Second is "o", fourth is "e". Yeah I knew it. But I was too scared to say it. Because then I would have had to ask. And if he said "I really care for you..." or even if he said "I think one day I might..." And if he said "Yeah I do"? Then what do I say?
He told me the word. I smiled a smile I have not smiled in close to forever. But I didn't ask. In some ways, it was enough. In others, I feel I let him down.
On the way back, drove by St. Helens. He's never been. Unfortunately, they advised against Coldwater and I think Johnston is closed this time of year. 80 mph gusts and a front moving in. Of course we saw it clear as day on the way back out. I promised. That's a promise I will hold. I love holding promises for him and carrying them out.
Side fieldtrip to Ocean Shores. Ocean City state park. Uhhh no. But Ocean Shores in December. The crashing waves. And crash landing birds. And walking in the surf with the shutter going off. And getting to drive all the way back to Oly.
I'm afraid to wake up. This feels too good. Too imperfectly perfect. If only we would just say it already.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Good. Imperfection.
Life is. I am. My book is. My job is. My friends are. My family is. My co-workers are. My boyfriend is. My checkbook is. My bills are. My plans are. My world is.
Maybe it is my co-worker who calls me "hun".
Maybe it is my boss who trusts me to make relatively huge decisions.
Maybe it is getting to talk to Liisa three times in one day.
Maybe it is plans to stay at the Paramount this Saturday.
Maybe it is 987 cards down, thousands to go.
Maybe it is a fantastic book about tragic events not backbreaking
(Monkey Business...read it)
Maybe it is Scrapworks, Simple Scrapbooking and PaperCrafts.
Maybe it is West Seattle.
Maybe it is toes on the heater.
Maybe it is lots of sleep.
I am happy. I am here. I am not stressing. I am not complaining. I am not taking it personal. I am laughing again. I want to stop planning and just do again. I have ideas. I have passion. I have an uncanny urge to eat lots of apple pie with ice cream and sparkly lemon water.
I love life and everything in mine and everything about it. Really. Everything isn't perfect, but it is in that imperfection, in those details, that life is perfectly imperfect.
Good.
All of it. I don't know what it was today.
Maybe it is my co-worker who calls me "hun".
Maybe it is my boss who trusts me to make relatively huge decisions.
Maybe it is getting to talk to Liisa three times in one day.
Maybe it is plans to stay at the Paramount this Saturday.
Maybe it is 987 cards down, thousands to go.
Maybe it is a fantastic book about tragic events not backbreaking
(Monkey Business...read it)
Maybe it is Scrapworks, Simple Scrapbooking and PaperCrafts.
Maybe it is West Seattle.
Maybe it is toes on the heater.
Maybe it is lots of sleep.
I am happy. I am here. I am not stressing. I am not complaining. I am not taking it personal. I am laughing again. I want to stop planning and just do again. I have ideas. I have passion. I have an uncanny urge to eat lots of apple pie with ice cream and sparkly lemon water.
I love life and everything in mine and everything about it. Really. Everything isn't perfect, but it is in that imperfection, in those details, that life is perfectly imperfect.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Really...a week?
Has it really been a week since I have written? What is the word for what you feel when you are beyond exhausted? Yeah, I'm too tired to think it up too. So tired I cannot look for the remote control or turn the channel from the Chris Matthews show. Ugh. You know I'm bone tired.
I need to eat. But I don't really have much to cook. I really want some pasta, but then I should probably go to the store and get some kind of sauce. Maybe some pasta too. Or I should just go to Taco Bell. No...be responsible. Go buy groceries.
Two more weeks. Then I have a week off. A whole long week. Whatever will I do with myself?
I think I'll wrap some gifts tonight. Got most of my sister's gift. Since she doesn't read my blog yet (positive about that), I can say that I still need to get her a gift card and then she will be done.
My mother is far LESS likely to read my blog. I want to look up a spa in the El Paso area and get her a gift certificate. I'm so sure she could use it. And then I'll likely make her another gift basket since she really liked that last year. And I'd love to just buy her a couple of airline tickets to fly north already. But that would freak her out. So I think what I will do is a couple of cute gift album deals for her. One will actually be a photo album with pictures of me and Robert since she is so on the "yeah...you're this big time scrapbooker but you don't never send me any pages. Okay, okay. Which reminds me. It might be a great idea to just make copies of like my favorite 10-20 pages and make an album/portfoilo of those for her. Maybe just something to do another time. Anyhow, the other album is going to be a fill in the blank deal. All of the stuff we'll do in Seattle, just add pictures kinda deal. Maybe even send a ticket or gift certificate for places only up here--ie, Red Robin gift cert, etc. That way, she can't use them at home, she knows that I'm committed to her coming and she gets a glimpse of all the cool things we can do when she visits.
I actually do think that she is committed to making the trip this year. I hope so.
BF is adorable as always. But he knows that. We had a really laid back weekend which I really appreciated after this crazy week. One good thing about life now is that I actually get to see him more often.
Sidenote--I absolutely CANNOT believe it is only 4:30.
Anyhow...back to the weekend. He woke me up at like 6:50 so that we could go to Queen Anne to take pictures of DT Seattle and the mountain at sunrise. We'll have to do it during the week when the worker bees actually turn on the lights in the buildings. But God how amazingly, wonderfully, pure, calming and beautiful it is up there.
I fell asleep during the funniest movie of all times (that would be Elf) and now it is going on Monday and time to start the race all over again. I think I'm going to find a way to get more done on the bus. Like reading for pleasure. I certainly have enough time at work to get work done so...let the projects commence.
Bf lurks on the blog from time to time so I cannot mention his gifts here but let me just say one word:
cool.
I'm psyched.
I promise to get nightly again. Promise. Till tomorrow.
I need to eat. But I don't really have much to cook. I really want some pasta, but then I should probably go to the store and get some kind of sauce. Maybe some pasta too. Or I should just go to Taco Bell. No...be responsible. Go buy groceries.
Two more weeks. Then I have a week off. A whole long week. Whatever will I do with myself?
I think I'll wrap some gifts tonight. Got most of my sister's gift. Since she doesn't read my blog yet (positive about that), I can say that I still need to get her a gift card and then she will be done.
My mother is far LESS likely to read my blog. I want to look up a spa in the El Paso area and get her a gift certificate. I'm so sure she could use it. And then I'll likely make her another gift basket since she really liked that last year. And I'd love to just buy her a couple of airline tickets to fly north already. But that would freak her out. So I think what I will do is a couple of cute gift album deals for her. One will actually be a photo album with pictures of me and Robert since she is so on the "yeah...you're this big time scrapbooker but you don't never send me any pages. Okay, okay. Which reminds me. It might be a great idea to just make copies of like my favorite 10-20 pages and make an album/portfoilo of those for her. Maybe just something to do another time. Anyhow, the other album is going to be a fill in the blank deal. All of the stuff we'll do in Seattle, just add pictures kinda deal. Maybe even send a ticket or gift certificate for places only up here--ie, Red Robin gift cert, etc. That way, she can't use them at home, she knows that I'm committed to her coming and she gets a glimpse of all the cool things we can do when she visits.
I actually do think that she is committed to making the trip this year. I hope so.
BF is adorable as always. But he knows that. We had a really laid back weekend which I really appreciated after this crazy week. One good thing about life now is that I actually get to see him more often.
Sidenote--I absolutely CANNOT believe it is only 4:30.
Anyhow...back to the weekend. He woke me up at like 6:50 so that we could go to Queen Anne to take pictures of DT Seattle and the mountain at sunrise. We'll have to do it during the week when the worker bees actually turn on the lights in the buildings. But God how amazingly, wonderfully, pure, calming and beautiful it is up there.
I fell asleep during the funniest movie of all times (that would be Elf) and now it is going on Monday and time to start the race all over again. I think I'm going to find a way to get more done on the bus. Like reading for pleasure. I certainly have enough time at work to get work done so...let the projects commence.
Bf lurks on the blog from time to time so I cannot mention his gifts here but let me just say one word:
cool.
I'm psyched.
I promise to get nightly again. Promise. Till tomorrow.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Change Agent
So. You love the heck out of someone. Someone has a problem. You see the problem. In lucid moments someone sees the problem as well. But those lucid moments are few and far between. Someone doesn't really see their problem as the real problem that it is. Merely a simple issue, but not a problem. Not a problem that impacts family, friends--real friends, not the ones who enable someone.
I don't know what to do. Really, there is nothing I CAN do.
Everyone says it and knows it and I understand it. Someone has to want to change in order to change. Layer that on top of the common knowledge that people don't change. Is it hopeless?
So then. My birthday was fantastically simple. I am really LOVING a far less complicated life. Dear boyfriend took me out to the Comedy Underground where I laughed my butt off. Got back to his place and got gifts so very apropo. We're going to go to Walla Walla when it gets warmer (smile) and he got me a carry on travel bag. Red of course (smile). Perfect [censored]. Then, Sunday morning we went to breakfast, ran some errands and I hung out at his place as he installed lights. He cooked me dinner and sent me on my way so that I'd be able to get up early enough to take the bus to work in the morning.
Not so much. I ended up driving the whole way today. I'll definitely need to take the bus a heckuva lot more often to deter the stop at one of my fave craft stores along the way. Just picked up a few items for an amazing gift idea I have for the boyfriend. He's gonna love it...capitalism aside (smile). Hey...I DID support the economy by buying the supplies for it.
[censored] job--rocks the house. [censored] I love it. [censored].
Okay...time to mourn my loses, post a photo and "suck it up already" and try again. Check my other blogs for more.
I don't know what to do. Really, there is nothing I CAN do.
Everyone says it and knows it and I understand it. Someone has to want to change in order to change. Layer that on top of the common knowledge that people don't change. Is it hopeless?
So then. My birthday was fantastically simple. I am really LOVING a far less complicated life. Dear boyfriend took me out to the Comedy Underground where I laughed my butt off. Got back to his place and got gifts so very apropo. We're going to go to Walla Walla when it gets warmer (smile) and he got me a carry on travel bag. Red of course (smile). Perfect [censored]. Then, Sunday morning we went to breakfast, ran some errands and I hung out at his place as he installed lights. He cooked me dinner and sent me on my way so that I'd be able to get up early enough to take the bus to work in the morning.
Not so much. I ended up driving the whole way today. I'll definitely need to take the bus a heckuva lot more often to deter the stop at one of my fave craft stores along the way. Just picked up a few items for an amazing gift idea I have for the boyfriend. He's gonna love it...capitalism aside (smile). Hey...I DID support the economy by buying the supplies for it.
[censored] job--rocks the house. [censored] I love it. [censored].
Okay...time to mourn my loses, post a photo and "suck it up already" and try again. Check my other blogs for more.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
They like me...they really do
Sometimes. And other times they just love me. I had to choke back some serious SERIOUS tears when I saw Liisa sitting up at the desk this past Friday when I walked into work. She came all the way up to Olympia skiddin' in on the rails on her day off with her papers due to come and see me [censored]. Okay...I'ma electrocute myself on this here laptop if I start crying again.
[censored].
Speaking of which.
How do you convince your boyfriend to come up off the secret already? He won't tell me where we're going tonight. I do know that it wouldn't be a weekend without a trip to Home Depot of course. Light boxes this time. Matching holes in the wall to prove it. God that boy is super patient. Probably why he's still hanging out with me.
So. Monday is the day. [censored]. It is the day I finally find out who won the Scrapworks contest that has taken a life of it's own on my b3 blog. I'm really trying to just forget about it but that's a cool $1000 I could SOOOOO use right now what with [censored] Christmas and all. Genius is as genius does--I get loaded on December 23. I'm responsible enough to not put off the real bills until then and instead use my December 10 check to have fun, but still. I'd much rather buy presents than a brake job next week.
Sigh.
And yes, for the millionith time, one day I will eat Carrot Cake again.
[censored].
Speaking of which.
How do you convince your boyfriend to come up off the secret already? He won't tell me where we're going tonight. I do know that it wouldn't be a weekend without a trip to Home Depot of course. Light boxes this time. Matching holes in the wall to prove it. God that boy is super patient. Probably why he's still hanging out with me.
So. Monday is the day. [censored]. It is the day I finally find out who won the Scrapworks contest that has taken a life of it's own on my b3 blog. I'm really trying to just forget about it but that's a cool $1000 I could SOOOOO use right now what with [censored] Christmas and all. Genius is as genius does--I get loaded on December 23. I'm responsible enough to not put off the real bills until then and instead use my December 10 check to have fun, but still. I'd much rather buy presents than a brake job next week.
Sigh.
And yes, for the millionith time, one day I will eat Carrot Cake again.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
List'd
To make a list or not to make the list. I'm not at all high maintenance. I just like nice things. Some are nicer than others. These are the gorgeous things a person so inclined could buy for me as long as he/she/it makes sure to keep in mind that what I want most in the world cannot be bought and what I appreciate most in a gift is not the price tag. So then...
************[Maintenance]List**********
************(Fun)List**********
************FunctionalList**********
Price points for all.
Happy giving season.
T-minus 8 hours...
So. Yesterday and Monday I had [censored] parties. Let me just say that I don't want to see any more carrot cake for a long, LONG time. But how cool is that that everyone remembered my favorite kinds of cake?
On Monday, I sat down with my student group and we just talked. One of my students was reading us these awesome passsages about {un}thankful thanksgiving--about why there are very valid reasons why many Native Americans don't have reason to celebrate that day. Really caused me to think and contemplate whether or not I will celebrate the day myself anymore. Then we got to reading about being poly (as opposed to multi) cultural. Now THAT was a great piece. [censored].
Yesterday (Tuesday), [censored] I really tried to get out of the super analytical, read-too-much-into-it mindset. But it was interesting who came and who did not come. Was very telling [censored]. In a nutshell, it was important that the students [censored] were there. It is equally important that the people who could have helped me to help them the most, were not there. Nuff said about all of that.
Another of my super-fantastic students had just come by to break down the ultra amazing display we had in the Cultural Center for all of November. We were so lucky to come across this amazing woman who was so completely knowledgable about her culture and so willing to share it. Oh how amazing the world would be if there were just two more of her. Just two more.
So [censored] I loved this experience.
Well...birthday is this Sunday. I already love that I'll get to celebrate it for three days or so. My BF is a cutie--he's going to cook me dinner on Friday. I love it when he cooks for me. Almost as much as I love to cook for him. Sigh...the next utterance from my keyboard will be a "he's so dreamy" so I better stop before I get censored [again]. Yes...I am sitting here giggling at myself.
Okay, okay...another few lists need to be posted. It will get him reading my blog (lurker) so...off I go.
On Monday, I sat down with my student group and we just talked. One of my students was reading us these awesome passsages about {un}thankful thanksgiving--about why there are very valid reasons why many Native Americans don't have reason to celebrate that day. Really caused me to think and contemplate whether or not I will celebrate the day myself anymore. Then we got to reading about being poly (as opposed to multi) cultural. Now THAT was a great piece. [censored].
Yesterday (Tuesday), [censored] I really tried to get out of the super analytical, read-too-much-into-it mindset. But it was interesting who came and who did not come. Was very telling [censored]. In a nutshell, it was important that the students [censored] were there. It is equally important that the people who could have helped me to help them the most, were not there. Nuff said about all of that.
Another of my super-fantastic students had just come by to break down the ultra amazing display we had in the Cultural Center for all of November. We were so lucky to come across this amazing woman who was so completely knowledgable about her culture and so willing to share it. Oh how amazing the world would be if there were just two more of her. Just two more.
So [censored] I loved this experience.
Well...birthday is this Sunday. I already love that I'll get to celebrate it for three days or so. My BF is a cutie--he's going to cook me dinner on Friday. I love it when he cooks for me. Almost as much as I love to cook for him. Sigh...the next utterance from my keyboard will be a "he's so dreamy" so I better stop before I get censored [again]. Yes...I am sitting here giggling at myself.
Okay, okay...another few lists need to be posted. It will get him reading my blog (lurker) so...off I go.
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