Sunday, January 29, 2006

Eagles, boarding, BF

They are almost all b's. Maybe if I changed eagles to birds. But they are really so much more than birds.

I admit it. I was skeptical. No, I was Skeptical. I thought "great, we'll be out there for like hours and we'll see two birds flying off somewhere."

Oh should we be so unlucky. Bad thing, we can't find the lens hood/cap thingy and BF is freaking about that. Understandably so since it was rented and now he'll have to pay for it. word. Just when I was convinced I would not see any friggin' birds, I spotted my first perch. And they were so easy to spot after that I could not understand why I had never thought to go out and see them before. We were impressed to see about ten of them today. The "serious" birders were all about "wow, we missed them this year."

Evidently, the eagles were early.

But it was so fun to see some and to even see the baby ones. BF never ceases to amaze me in his vast knowledge about anything and everything and it's always fun to go out with him on these journies.

Boarding. Went to the board retreat for the Feminist Women's Health Clinic yesterday. I could go on for a whole other post on my views and thoughts with this group. I'm not radical (we have plenty of those on the board) and I'm not the conservative voice of reason. But I got that tingly "thank you very much" feeling yesterday again. Our facilitator was a well respected local non-profit/fundraising consultant. At the one break we had yesterday, she asked what I do for a living. Told her "I'm not a lawyer, I just make them." and she then wanted to know what I did before that. Gist of it finally coming down to her saying she was thoroughly amazed with my input because she would have expected it from someone twice my age.

This would have been nothing much except (and I guess this confirms her observation) that I had heard a lot of similar comments like that this week. To the point that I had to ask BF if I was "old". I asked because I tend to find that people older than me think I'm mature for my age--as if to say my generation is a bunch of slackers. Folks in my gen (or slightly older) tend to think I'm smart, but nothing totally "out there". Younger folks tend to think I'm younger than I am. Not immature, but just younger. I tried to explain that I was raised a good portion of my formidable years by my grandmother and try to funnel my decisions through a "what would she do" lens. The facilitator said "some of it. but really, I think you just seem to look at and process the world around you in a way very unique to what I have seen from most people--regardless of age." Essentially, she went on to say that I tend to pay attention. This in the midst of catching me doodling Hall of Fame wannabe layouts. Note to self--we will not be entering this year if we have to pay more than $20 to ship off the entry. No more overnight express. The payoff is not worth it.

BF. He is fantastic. And then some. I love watching him think. Had a little heart to heart last night because I'm at the point where I just really think he needs to know who I am before we get too much farther into this. I'm really falling for him. I mean, I've fallen for him as is my typical infatuation with the new. But now that the newness is very much wearing off (we're going on a year of knowing each other in April--still some time for a year actually together, but still--I can distinctly separate my life into before knowing him and after), I'm really trying to let down that guard of not really getting wrapped up in someone. I had the guts/nerve to assure him that I'm not his ex-wife or his ex anything. So now I have to understand that he's not my ex-husband or my ex anything either. Living in the moment is good. But it is time to start being afraid of living for the next moment too. Time to start thinking about what next.

Reading is done for the evening. I actually get to go home, climb into bed and sleep. Payday couldn't come sooner. Got a really great idea for something and can't justify tapping into savings for it. Have to do some budget adjusting to factor in the once a month paycheck thing. Which sorta blows, but really is probably a good thing at this stage of life when I should be saving a lot more and thinking about what I want to do with life. Be that lots more travel, finally buy a place, get the consulting gig launched (note to self, remember to email Jon tomorrow)... Time to get up and do. I've coasted for a bit and now need to hit the gas.

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