Friday, February 24, 2006

Miss me dear?

It's only been a week. And I've seen you looking in my window anyhow so it is not like I have to post for the world to see.

Kidding. I don't have stalkers...I stalk people. Not.

Breath in. Breath out.

What a long week it has been. Plenty of ups and downs and I am scared shitless that, hey, bipolar is really something to be looking out for. That's karma for ya. I basically sucked my teeth at the prospect of all of my gen of gals conviently coming up psycho when the going got tough. Amazingly, my life ain't half hard yet I have issues. Not drama queen issues (well, yeah those but I've learned to live with and love those) but real issues. As in bitterness, unhappy, madness when life by all standards is going fantastically.

I have a great (albeit not that difficult) job that pays the bills (mine, her's, his and their's).
I have a great boyfriend who is straightfoward, honest, caring and scared right along with me.
I have page requests from all over this great country for the creative hell of it.
I've had nice weather to wake up to.
My friends are talking to me again (it's our cycle...few years on, few years off)
My enemies are trying to get close to me again...

all is well. but not.

I'm not getting medicated into happiness. Life is too short for that and I'm not in denial when I say I don't need that [you're in I'm not...].

I just needed to breath. in. and then out again. the past week. My place is really really REALLY starting to feel like my place. Have tables (devil is in the details) to entertain at. Have food in the cupboard. Have a working toilet (reminder to self...have landlord served for court date). Have heat. Have light. Have candles.

I love my place. Love listening to the water. Love watching the water. Love that I cannot smell the water. Love it. Adore it. Sunsets are the best. Light is even better. Especially when you can go in the backroom and shut it all out.

My kitchen is tiny sized--just like I like it. But my fridge and oven are full sized--all the best for entertaining. I adore my place. Oh yeah...said that already. Adore even more the folks who live upstairs. She left me a note on the tram this morning warning me that it was icy. So considerate. Love them to death.


Love fest over. Time to think about chairs for the table. Vacuum cleaner. Going out and having fun. Reading files. Saying no. Saying yes. Making dreams comes true and crushing others. Not fun.

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