They are almost all b's. Maybe if I changed eagles to birds. But they are really so much more than birds.
I admit it. I was skeptical. No, I was Skeptical. I thought "great, we'll be out there for like hours and we'll see two birds flying off somewhere."
Oh should we be so unlucky. Bad thing, we can't find the lens hood/cap thingy and BF is freaking about that. Understandably so since it was rented and now he'll have to pay for it. BUT...my word. Just when I was convinced I would not see any friggin' birds, I spotted my first perch. And they were so easy to spot after that I could not understand why I had never thought to go out and see them before. We were impressed to see about ten of them today. The "serious" birders were all about "wow, we missed them this year."
Evidently, the eagles were early.
But it was so fun to see some and to even see the baby ones. BF never ceases to amaze me in his vast knowledge about anything and everything and it's always fun to go out with him on these journies.
Boarding. Went to the board retreat for the Feminist Women's Health Clinic yesterday. I could go on for a whole other post on my views and thoughts with this group. I'm not radical (we have plenty of those on the board) and I'm not the conservative voice of reason. But I got that tingly "thank you very much" feeling yesterday again. Our facilitator was a well respected local non-profit/fundraising consultant. At the one break we had yesterday, she asked what I do for a living. Told her "I'm not a lawyer, I just make them." and she then wanted to know what I did before that. Gist of it finally coming down to her saying she was thoroughly amazed with my input because she would have expected it from someone twice my age.
This would have been nothing much except (and I guess this confirms her observation) that I had heard a lot of similar comments like that this week. To the point that I had to ask BF if I was "old". I asked because I tend to find that people older than me think I'm mature for my age--as if to say my generation is a bunch of slackers. Folks in my gen (or slightly older) tend to think I'm smart, but nothing totally "out there". Younger folks tend to think I'm younger than I am. Not immature, but just younger. I tried to explain that I was raised a good portion of my formidable years by my grandmother and try to funnel my decisions through a "what would she do" lens. The facilitator said "some of it. but really, I think you just seem to look at and process the world around you in a way very unique to what I have seen from most people--regardless of age." Essentially, she went on to say that I tend to pay attention. This in the midst of catching me doodling Hall of Fame wannabe layouts. Note to self--we will not be entering this year if we have to pay more than $20 to ship off the entry. No more overnight express. The payoff is not worth it.
BF. He is fantastic. And then some. I love watching him think. Had a little heart to heart last night because I'm at the point where I just really think he needs to know who I am before we get too much farther into this. I'm really falling for him. I mean, I've fallen for him as is my typical infatuation with the new. But now that the newness is very much wearing off (we're going on a year of knowing each other in April--still some time for a year actually together, but still--I can distinctly separate my life into before knowing him and after), I'm really trying to let down that guard of not really getting wrapped up in someone. I had the guts/nerve to assure him that I'm not his ex-wife or his ex anything. So now I have to understand that he's not my ex-husband or my ex anything either. Living in the moment is good. But it is time to start being afraid of living for the next moment too. Time to start thinking about what next.
Reading is done for the evening. I actually get to go home, climb into bed and sleep. Payday couldn't come sooner. Got a really great idea for something and can't justify tapping into savings for it. Have to do some budget adjusting to factor in the once a month paycheck thing. Which sorta blows, but really is probably a good thing at this stage of life when I should be saving a lot more and thinking about what I want to do with life. Be that lots more travel, finally buy a place, get the consulting gig launched (note to self, remember to email Jon tomorrow)... Time to get up and do. I've coasted for a bit and now need to hit the gas.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
Good word
I can think of many right now. But none of them are good. it is Friday night. about an hour since I should have left. And I sit. Waiting for 7200 emails to go out under MY email address (probably shut down the whole server in the process) and REALLY looking forward to the bounce from 7200 worth of bad emails.
I suppose I could do the papercut version of this. Or we could just pay someone to mail out the paper copies. I should calculate it out. My hourly rate plus the hours additionally it will take for me to get trained on how to do this the RIGHT way (instead of the WE way) and to clean up the mess from this...
I really do think it would be cheaper to pay the $1000 to just mail them already.
Anyhow.
Oh happy day! Got to go out with BF (actually convinced his roomie to come out too) and Andrea and crew on the "East Side". Yuppie ville. Gotta love it. I do. I love people watching though. BF can't stand it.
Tomorrow I have a board meeting I will likely get lost trying to find. Tonight is tacos and a movie. Sunday is bird picture taking (well, Eagles...but they're birds last time I checked).
Time for me to assume that the email will go out and just go home. I found out that I'm going to be published again. I'm super psyched about that. I'll update the scrappy blog with more information but the detectives among us will figure it out.
Still gotta serve my landlord. Acting a fool. Filed. Should put that date on my calendar.
Going south to Palm Springs for Easter. That should be fun to see BF in his habitat. Then I really need to start planning for time back in El Paso.
Saw Glory Road. I can't believe how you can grow up all your life knowing someone, but not really knowing them. I come from a basketball family in El Paso and it took the rolling credits at the end for me to place some of those players in context within my life. I'm ever fascinated by how few degrees tend to separate me from the aha moments (and people) of my life.
Okay. Bus calls. Probably not now that it is past rush/rush hour. Sigh...
I suppose I could do the papercut version of this. Or we could just pay someone to mail out the paper copies. I should calculate it out. My hourly rate plus the hours additionally it will take for me to get trained on how to do this the RIGHT way (instead of the WE way) and to clean up the mess from this...
I really do think it would be cheaper to pay the $1000 to just mail them already.
Anyhow.
Oh happy day! Got to go out with BF (actually convinced his roomie to come out too) and Andrea and crew on the "East Side". Yuppie ville. Gotta love it. I do. I love people watching though. BF can't stand it.
Tomorrow I have a board meeting I will likely get lost trying to find. Tonight is tacos and a movie. Sunday is bird picture taking (well, Eagles...but they're birds last time I checked).
Time for me to assume that the email will go out and just go home. I found out that I'm going to be published again. I'm super psyched about that. I'll update the scrappy blog with more information but the detectives among us will figure it out.
Still gotta serve my landlord. Acting a fool. Filed. Should put that date on my calendar.
Going south to Palm Springs for Easter. That should be fun to see BF in his habitat. Then I really need to start planning for time back in El Paso.
Saw Glory Road. I can't believe how you can grow up all your life knowing someone, but not really knowing them. I come from a basketball family in El Paso and it took the rolling credits at the end for me to place some of those players in context within my life. I'm ever fascinated by how few degrees tend to separate me from the aha moments (and people) of my life.
Okay. Bus calls. Probably not now that it is past rush/rush hour. Sigh...
Friday, January 20, 2006
Life
is wierd
is weak
is precious
is odd
is here
is now.
Not very colorful today though. Posted on my other blog about the sw fiasco of a day and though it is not raining outside, god is it raining in here. Few more moments until I have to get it together and go back to work but man it is one of those days.
I'm definitely hormonal. no doubt to that.
I find it highly ironic that I can sit in my posh little job deciding on real life decisions--not just who will get paid $150 a month in scrapbooking product, but real life decisions like what people will get to do with the next 20-40 years of their lives and here I sit shook over not making the cut.
How is that for life?
I find it highly odd that I've got not only a friggin' ivy league degree, but a master's degree to complement it and I'm sitting her worried about whether or not I can compete in the "sport of stay at home moms" so many of my friends have taken to calling my little hobby/side gig.
How is that for life?
I find it downright disturbing that instead of thinking of the real goals at hand, you know, making sure I am really setting myself up to do the consulting I want to do that will change the world someday, instead, I'm trying to figure out if it is anywhere near worth my time to even try for Hall of Fame. Disturbing because really, logically, I know I should spend that time really prepping to take over the world in a far more realistic endeavor.
Scrapbooking. Sigh. Not really for me. I'm overeducated. Live in the wrong part of the country. Don't have enough kids. Don't have the requisite husband. Work too much outside of the home. Get PAID too much for the work I do outside of the home. Really don't have a very unique talent. Really have TOO unique a talent. Have a bit too much melanin. Might be a bit too thin. Might be a tad shy of perky enough...
Definitely don't have a thick enough skin for Type A Scrapbooking.
is weak
is precious
is odd
is here
is now.
Not very colorful today though. Posted on my other blog about the sw fiasco of a day and though it is not raining outside, god is it raining in here. Few more moments until I have to get it together and go back to work but man it is one of those days.
I'm definitely hormonal. no doubt to that.
I find it highly ironic that I can sit in my posh little job deciding on real life decisions--not just who will get paid $150 a month in scrapbooking product, but real life decisions like what people will get to do with the next 20-40 years of their lives and here I sit shook over not making the cut.
How is that for life?
I find it highly odd that I've got not only a friggin' ivy league degree, but a master's degree to complement it and I'm sitting her worried about whether or not I can compete in the "sport of stay at home moms" so many of my friends have taken to calling my little hobby/side gig.
How is that for life?
I find it downright disturbing that instead of thinking of the real goals at hand, you know, making sure I am really setting myself up to do the consulting I want to do that will change the world someday, instead, I'm trying to figure out if it is anywhere near worth my time to even try for Hall of Fame. Disturbing because really, logically, I know I should spend that time really prepping to take over the world in a far more realistic endeavor.
Scrapbooking. Sigh. Not really for me. I'm overeducated. Live in the wrong part of the country. Don't have enough kids. Don't have the requisite husband. Work too much outside of the home. Get PAID too much for the work I do outside of the home. Really don't have a very unique talent. Really have TOO unique a talent. Have a bit too much melanin. Might be a bit too thin. Might be a tad shy of perky enough...
Definitely don't have a thick enough skin for Type A Scrapbooking.
I'm way too hormonal for it really.
Life. It's pretty off skew and off kelter when your life revolves around scrapbooking for the noteriety instead of scrapbooking for the fun of it. I don't do "fun". That's my problem.
Life. It's pretty off skew and off kelter when your life revolves around scrapbooking for the noteriety instead of scrapbooking for the fun of it. I don't do "fun". That's my problem.
"Hi...my name is ______ and I have a problem."
Monday, January 16, 2006
Fireworks
There are cool little towns in America. Well, at least in places like NM, AZ and WA.
This weekend, the BF so graciously plotted a little getaway for us to a town called Leavenworth. We went for Ice Fest.
So we left at way too early on Saturday morning because I wanted to see the dog pulling competition. Never seen it before and probably won't make much of a point of seeing it again because there is something about some of the ultra-competitive handlers that are there more for the points than the love of what their dogs can do. In any event, there were some gigantic dogs there.
yeah.
Had some fantastic tomato basil bisque, saw a new book by J. Diamond (Collapse) that I want to get and then went and had a great time back at the hotel kicking it until we went out for fireworks. After fireworks, went back to the hotel, nice little WOOD fire...fun times.
Viewed some models, came back home watched The Office and West Wing...done.
Time to go home.
This weekend, the BF so graciously plotted a little getaway for us to a town called Leavenworth. We went for Ice Fest.
So we left at way too early on Saturday morning because I wanted to see the dog pulling competition. Never seen it before and probably won't make much of a point of seeing it again because there is something about some of the ultra-competitive handlers that are there more for the points than the love of what their dogs can do. In any event, there were some gigantic dogs there.
yeah.
Had some fantastic tomato basil bisque, saw a new book by J. Diamond (Collapse) that I want to get and then went and had a great time back at the hotel kicking it until we went out for fireworks. After fireworks, went back to the hotel, nice little WOOD fire...fun times.
Viewed some models, came back home watched The Office and West Wing...done.
Time to go home.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Landlord crap...
tired. really. And I've gotten to bed at a decent hour both of the last two nights.
Just got the letter from my old landlord. She's trying to tell me I owe $6500. So I gotta take her to court to get my security deposit back. Which is really not so much what I want as not to have her trying to send me through collections.
Here are the issues, I'm having--lawyers among you feel free to weigh in:
She listed a late fee for Oct. 05 of $40.00. This was the month that she lost my rent check. I don't have it in writing that she waived the fee, but I do have the paper trail of me writing to her about it because she initiated a 3 day "pay up or get out" deal. Soon as I got that, I hunted her down and we had the chat where she noted she must have lost the check and she waived the fee. I have the receipts for rent from October and November and December where none of them note a carry over of the $40 fee still due or that I paid it. She's tacking this on after the fact.
For cleaning, she lists a full clean with shampoo for $100. That's fine. She charges a $225 cleaning fee to clean the carpets and paint the apartment. That shouldn't be deducted from my damage deposit unless it is above and beyond. I lived there 6 months and took plenty of pictures to show that I didn't damage the carpet. However, I did mention to her that my toilet had overflowed so she probably charged me for the plumbing crap that caused my moveout.
For repair, she notes "full paint at $100 for material and $100 for labor". Again, it specifically notes in my lease that painting is required after each move out and that is what the cleaning fee is for. If she already requires that and it is in a non-refundable fee I have to pay, I am not understanding how she can double charge me for it.
Under misc, she notes the costs of Roto-Rooter coming out to my apartment. She NEVER got authorization from me to have them come out for one. Secondly, she never asked me to pay for any of these visits in the months that they happened. She noted 8/16 and 11/9. Roto Rooter did not visit MY apartment on either of these dates. They visited back in June.
She wants to try and charge me for the 1.5 months rent special at a rate of 937.50. My contention is that I didn't break the lease. Her non-fixing of the problem is why I moved. If she would have fixed the problem, I would still be there in my lease. Secondly, there was a half month free with a 6 month lease. I stayed there for 6 months so at the least, I should get that half month special. Also, she tries to charge me the $1000.00 lease cancellation fee. Yes, it is in my contract, but again, I didn't cancel the lease. She didn't fix the problems, so I had to move.
Further, the $1000 is for the efforts to release the place. I came up with three viable renters for her and asked for permission to sublet to mitigate her costs and not have to break my lease. She would never grant permission.
Essentially, she is telling me that I forfeit my deposit, but does not give a breakdown of what she is charging against that deposit in terms of damange. The whole deposit I gave her was $500. So from there, she should deduct the cleaning of $100 and the repairs (painting) of $200. That's $75 more than the cleaning fee, but I should get the rest of my deposit. Under my premise of moving out under the RCWs, I don't think she can hold my deposit or extra rent (she also notes my move out as 12/31 when in fact I vacated on 12/28) as a lease break.
Good thing I work for a law school now. Fun times.
So...to court we go since the almost illegible fine print at the bottom of the page says that accounts not paid within 30 days will be turned over to collection.
Just got the letter from my old landlord. She's trying to tell me I owe $6500. So I gotta take her to court to get my security deposit back. Which is really not so much what I want as not to have her trying to send me through collections.
Here are the issues, I'm having--lawyers among you feel free to weigh in:
She listed a late fee for Oct. 05 of $40.00. This was the month that she lost my rent check. I don't have it in writing that she waived the fee, but I do have the paper trail of me writing to her about it because she initiated a 3 day "pay up or get out" deal. Soon as I got that, I hunted her down and we had the chat where she noted she must have lost the check and she waived the fee. I have the receipts for rent from October and November and December where none of them note a carry over of the $40 fee still due or that I paid it. She's tacking this on after the fact.
For cleaning, she lists a full clean with shampoo for $100. That's fine. She charges a $225 cleaning fee to clean the carpets and paint the apartment. That shouldn't be deducted from my damage deposit unless it is above and beyond. I lived there 6 months and took plenty of pictures to show that I didn't damage the carpet. However, I did mention to her that my toilet had overflowed so she probably charged me for the plumbing crap that caused my moveout.
For repair, she notes "full paint at $100 for material and $100 for labor". Again, it specifically notes in my lease that painting is required after each move out and that is what the cleaning fee is for. If she already requires that and it is in a non-refundable fee I have to pay, I am not understanding how she can double charge me for it.
Under misc, she notes the costs of Roto-Rooter coming out to my apartment. She NEVER got authorization from me to have them come out for one. Secondly, she never asked me to pay for any of these visits in the months that they happened. She noted 8/16 and 11/9. Roto Rooter did not visit MY apartment on either of these dates. They visited back in June.
She wants to try and charge me for the 1.5 months rent special at a rate of 937.50. My contention is that I didn't break the lease. Her non-fixing of the problem is why I moved. If she would have fixed the problem, I would still be there in my lease. Secondly, there was a half month free with a 6 month lease. I stayed there for 6 months so at the least, I should get that half month special. Also, she tries to charge me the $1000.00 lease cancellation fee. Yes, it is in my contract, but again, I didn't cancel the lease. She didn't fix the problems, so I had to move.
Further, the $1000 is for the efforts to release the place. I came up with three viable renters for her and asked for permission to sublet to mitigate her costs and not have to break my lease. She would never grant permission.
Essentially, she is telling me that I forfeit my deposit, but does not give a breakdown of what she is charging against that deposit in terms of damange. The whole deposit I gave her was $500. So from there, she should deduct the cleaning of $100 and the repairs (painting) of $200. That's $75 more than the cleaning fee, but I should get the rest of my deposit. Under my premise of moving out under the RCWs, I don't think she can hold my deposit or extra rent (she also notes my move out as 12/31 when in fact I vacated on 12/28) as a lease break.
Good thing I work for a law school now. Fun times.
So...to court we go since the almost illegible fine print at the bottom of the page says that accounts not paid within 30 days will be turned over to collection.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
dagnabit
Tired. Bone tired. I layed in bed a good hour this morning contemplating whether or not I wanted to take the bus to work. You see, I can drive up the road and hop the bus, but then I only have a very limited window of opportunity for getting the bus back to the car. I could drive forever to where the BF parks, but then I might well just drive to campus. Driving to campus—plenty of parking, but I only have a pass for 5 days a month. Sigh…to give up the bus pass or not to. That is the question.
Social responsibility is for the birds. The seagulls at that.
Stormy, stormy night. As in waves splashed up on the deck. Fun. And I slept through most of it.
Tonight, let’s try not to take work home. Really. Really. Delegation is a good thing. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Day after is the MLK Jr. dinner. Day after is the MLK Jr. luncheon. Then there is a three day weekend. God I love working in higher education.
What am I qualified to do? What am I pushing to do? Why am I here loving the easy life when I should be joining the struggle? Sigh. My brain hurts. Telling people no hurts even more. Laughing my butt off at lunch is even more painful. I love it.
Speaking of pain. Time to get in shape. Next year. Or so.
Back to the rat race. I almost thought I heard rats this morning. Then I realized it was just a branch scraping my window. Phew.
Social responsibility is for the birds. The seagulls at that.
Stormy, stormy night. As in waves splashed up on the deck. Fun. And I slept through most of it.
Tonight, let’s try not to take work home. Really. Really. Delegation is a good thing. Tomorrow is Wednesday. Day after is the MLK Jr. dinner. Day after is the MLK Jr. luncheon. Then there is a three day weekend. God I love working in higher education.
What am I qualified to do? What am I pushing to do? Why am I here loving the easy life when I should be joining the struggle? Sigh. My brain hurts. Telling people no hurts even more. Laughing my butt off at lunch is even more painful. I love it.
Speaking of pain. Time to get in shape. Next year. Or so.
Back to the rat race. I almost thought I heard rats this morning. Then I realized it was just a branch scraping my window. Phew.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Boxed out
Another day, another moment. Woke up to three alarms—one the nifty new alarm clock boyfriend gave me. Two, the trusty standby cell phone just in case the alarm clock wasn’t set right. Three, the seagulls. My good word.
Love my place. Such a lucky find.
Blah rain. Blah, blah, more rain. Time to actually work now. Call me girl with pearl earring. Sigh. Settling in. Need to do a grocery run. Need a tv stand. Need to really finish unpacking (really…as in hang the curtains—BF gets to drill for that—unpack the scrap room, get it all together. Yeah.
No internet at home. What is a girl to do? Go to BF’s place of course. Of course.
My poinsettia is almost dead (almost) and I had a healthy dose of laughter at lunch with a good long lost (well found really) friend. Yet another of those “are we living up to our potential moments.” The master plan needs work. I know it.
Looking forward to washing clothes. Not putting them up mind you, but washing them and drying them sure. And maybe hanging that big bad bag of them up. Will weed through and rid myself of the stuff I will honest to God never wear. And then buy more. Sigh. I need a more professional look. So I think.
Rugs. A couple or so would be nice so my feet don’t freeze. Yeah and an oil change. Ugh. Oil. Change. Borders gift certificate to spend because, as BF says, it is not like I have oh so many books right? Challenge for the day. {s}he who guesses closest to how many books I have gets to reduce my stash by 1. Hey…it’s not everyday I get rid of a book.
Because some of you are adamantly opposed to letting folks know you’re into the blog thing, I suppose I’ll accept answers via email. But I’ll grumble at you. Growl.
Love my place. Such a lucky find.
Blah rain. Blah, blah, more rain. Time to actually work now. Call me girl with pearl earring. Sigh. Settling in. Need to do a grocery run. Need a tv stand. Need to really finish unpacking (really…as in hang the curtains—BF gets to drill for that—unpack the scrap room, get it all together. Yeah.
No internet at home. What is a girl to do? Go to BF’s place of course. Of course.
My poinsettia is almost dead (almost) and I had a healthy dose of laughter at lunch with a good long lost (well found really) friend. Yet another of those “are we living up to our potential moments.” The master plan needs work. I know it.
Looking forward to washing clothes. Not putting them up mind you, but washing them and drying them sure. And maybe hanging that big bad bag of them up. Will weed through and rid myself of the stuff I will honest to God never wear. And then buy more. Sigh. I need a more professional look. So I think.
Rugs. A couple or so would be nice so my feet don’t freeze. Yeah and an oil change. Ugh. Oil. Change. Borders gift certificate to spend because, as BF says, it is not like I have oh so many books right? Challenge for the day. {s}he who guesses closest to how many books I have gets to reduce my stash by 1. Hey…it’s not everyday I get rid of a book.
Because some of you are adamantly opposed to letting folks know you’re into the blog thing, I suppose I’ll accept answers via email. But I’ll grumble at you. Growl.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
blankity, blank, blank
Okay. I have so much to say and 10 seconds to say it. So a top 10 list is in order with a need to fill in the blankity blank blanks tomorrow. Or so.
10. Water views rock
West Seattle. Lots of kayak people. And water fowl. And other stuff. Just enough to keep me entertained long enough to not watch tv, not read a book and not do any other work (ie scrap, read, create...).
9. Space for tall girls is a good thing.
I have a whole room with nothing in it. A big room. I have grande schemes for it. And my bedroom is only half full. More plans. And my scrap room and a half...goodness. Tiny kitchen, but who cooks anyhow? Yeah...we'll work on that.
8. Crisis management affirmations
Deadline? What deadline? Tuition? Yeah, that's a lot of money...if you're buying a slipcover for a sofa. If you're paying for college, it's a drop in the bucket. Money is to be spent, not horded. Yeah, there is retirement. Yeah there is tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow might not come. But that is why today is important. Understanding the concept of "enough" and living beyond, beneath and within that. So tuition is nothing. Reading hundreds of applications is nothing. Meeting three major deadlines is nothing. Appreciating others is everything. Especially when those others so deserve appreciation and affirmation.
7. Bernadette Master Plan
Yeah. Let me get back to you on that one. Main ingredients? Me. Him. Her. Them. A healthy dash of giving, a grandiose shake of happiness and a pound of smiles. Lots of camera clicks (to taste) and many, many deep breaths. Incumbate. let hatch when ready.
6. Job. Love it. Rocks.
Create that newsletter. Monitor that phone a thon. Work with those students. Read that file again. End of the day, leave it at work and go home and do your other job well. End of allotted time, leave that one aside and go do your third job fantastically well. Enjoy life. Enjoy this space. Wow...how many people are as lucky as me?
5. Stuff, stuff, and more stuff. In boxes
Almost all out of boxes. I have a lot of stuff. And even more space. And time, resources and wherewithall to fill it. Materialistic? Hardly. High maintenance? Depends on who you ask I suppose. happy? Oh yes definitely. nothing better than shopping through your own boxes of fantastically fun stuff that has been packed up forever for lack of space to display it.
4. Party here, party, there, popular girl returns
Fun times at BF's neighbor's place. Fun cooked stuff and good company to have fun with. Then we had to "move my stuff." Well, my junk in my trunk out at the resort that is. Another party next Friday. This time at my neighbor's place. Symphony Saturday. I think I have a board meeting Sunday. Uh huh. Where's that calendar again? Oh yeah...space to post it to the wall again. How fun is that?!
3. snow. rain. snow.
Or is it rain, snow, rain. No matter. I remarked how wonderful is it to live life like this: Wake up in the morning, drop the kayak. Get bored, hop in the car and strap on the skis (snow). Come back home and walk the beach. In December. Did I mention how much I love Seattle today? Right...never in a million days did I ever think I would visit this place. Much less get educated out here, work out here, live out here and now play out here.
2. camera? what camera?
Yeah...should get on that purchase. I miss taking pictures. Really I do. I have plenty to scrap (what scrapper doesn't) but I feel as though I'm missing lots of life. Definitely missing lots of BF pictures...and that's a big one.
1. broken promises
Yeah...daily. I know. But life is so busy. In a happy, happy, happy way. 3 pm...where is my home at now?
Uncensored. I promise[d]. yeah!!
10. Water views rock
West Seattle. Lots of kayak people. And water fowl. And other stuff. Just enough to keep me entertained long enough to not watch tv, not read a book and not do any other work (ie scrap, read, create...).
9. Space for tall girls is a good thing.
I have a whole room with nothing in it. A big room. I have grande schemes for it. And my bedroom is only half full. More plans. And my scrap room and a half...goodness. Tiny kitchen, but who cooks anyhow? Yeah...we'll work on that.
8. Crisis management affirmations
Deadline? What deadline? Tuition? Yeah, that's a lot of money...if you're buying a slipcover for a sofa. If you're paying for college, it's a drop in the bucket. Money is to be spent, not horded. Yeah, there is retirement. Yeah there is tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow might not come. But that is why today is important. Understanding the concept of "enough" and living beyond, beneath and within that. So tuition is nothing. Reading hundreds of applications is nothing. Meeting three major deadlines is nothing. Appreciating others is everything. Especially when those others so deserve appreciation and affirmation.
7. Bernadette Master Plan
Yeah. Let me get back to you on that one. Main ingredients? Me. Him. Her. Them. A healthy dash of giving, a grandiose shake of happiness and a pound of smiles. Lots of camera clicks (to taste) and many, many deep breaths. Incumbate. let hatch when ready.
6. Job. Love it. Rocks.
Create that newsletter. Monitor that phone a thon. Work with those students. Read that file again. End of the day, leave it at work and go home and do your other job well. End of allotted time, leave that one aside and go do your third job fantastically well. Enjoy life. Enjoy this space. Wow...how many people are as lucky as me?
5. Stuff, stuff, and more stuff. In boxes
Almost all out of boxes. I have a lot of stuff. And even more space. And time, resources and wherewithall to fill it. Materialistic? Hardly. High maintenance? Depends on who you ask I suppose. happy? Oh yes definitely. nothing better than shopping through your own boxes of fantastically fun stuff that has been packed up forever for lack of space to display it.
4. Party here, party, there, popular girl returns
Fun times at BF's neighbor's place. Fun cooked stuff and good company to have fun with. Then we had to "move my stuff." Well, my junk in my trunk out at the resort that is. Another party next Friday. This time at my neighbor's place. Symphony Saturday. I think I have a board meeting Sunday. Uh huh. Where's that calendar again? Oh yeah...space to post it to the wall again. How fun is that?!
3. snow. rain. snow.
Or is it rain, snow, rain. No matter. I remarked how wonderful is it to live life like this: Wake up in the morning, drop the kayak. Get bored, hop in the car and strap on the skis (snow). Come back home and walk the beach. In December. Did I mention how much I love Seattle today? Right...never in a million days did I ever think I would visit this place. Much less get educated out here, work out here, live out here and now play out here.
2. camera? what camera?
Yeah...should get on that purchase. I miss taking pictures. Really I do. I have plenty to scrap (what scrapper doesn't) but I feel as though I'm missing lots of life. Definitely missing lots of BF pictures...and that's a big one.
1. broken promises
Yeah...daily. I know. But life is so busy. In a happy, happy, happy way. 3 pm...where is my home at now?
Uncensored. I promise[d]. yeah!!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Confounded...*@&#&
So.
Why is it that the other day, when I saw a stalled car blocking traffic at the corner of 4th and Marion, my first thought was “I wonder, if that were a car bomb, if I would be safe from the blast at this distance.”
So.
Why is it that my landlord totally flipped her lid and now is going to be stuck finding a new tenant, cleaning an apartment and taking me to court when she could have just as easily said “fine, I’ll fix the sh$tter” or, just as easily “I don’t care, sublet the place already.”
So.
Why is it that it is December 21 and I have yet to really do any Christmas shopping yet I still manage to have way too many gifts for the BF? He’s going to freak out.
So. So. Yeah…so.
The car didn’t blow up. Someone brought the driver some gas and I was only 18 minutes late.
The landlord, bless her soul, is disturbed. very.
I’m one crafty chick. I think he’ll love all of the gifts and we’ve already agreed not to play the “you got more” or “you spent more” game. I kinda stuck to the “rules” and only intend to get him one major gift. But I fathom that he’ll like the others better.
So, so, so. Ho, ho, ho [pimp]. I love The Office. That show is so very wrong and it makes me laugh so very hard. Welcome to America outside of the protected world of my Office of Diversity & Equity. [censored] Well…well.
Uncensored blog coming back soon. really. Lunch is over. really.
Why is it that the other day, when I saw a stalled car blocking traffic at the corner of 4th and Marion, my first thought was “I wonder, if that were a car bomb, if I would be safe from the blast at this distance.”
So.
Why is it that my landlord totally flipped her lid and now is going to be stuck finding a new tenant, cleaning an apartment and taking me to court when she could have just as easily said “fine, I’ll fix the sh$tter” or, just as easily “I don’t care, sublet the place already.”
So.
Why is it that it is December 21 and I have yet to really do any Christmas shopping yet I still manage to have way too many gifts for the BF? He’s going to freak out.
So. So. Yeah…so.
The car didn’t blow up. Someone brought the driver some gas and I was only 18 minutes late.
The landlord, bless her soul, is disturbed. very.
I’m one crafty chick. I think he’ll love all of the gifts and we’ve already agreed not to play the “you got more” or “you spent more” game. I kinda stuck to the “rules” and only intend to get him one major gift. But I fathom that he’ll like the others better.
So, so, so. Ho, ho, ho [pimp]. I love The Office. That show is so very wrong and it makes me laugh so very hard. Welcome to America outside of the protected world of my Office of Diversity & Equity. [censored] Well…well.
Uncensored blog coming back soon. really. Lunch is over. really.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Just. Say. It.
What an amazing weekend. Got off of work on Friday, hopped the bus to get downtown. Walked most of the hill to hop the bus. Loved the fresh, crisp Seattle air. God I love this city.
Got downtown. The lights are GORGEOUS. I love the simple things--simple white lights give the city an innocent glow.
We got home, popped in a movie of my choosing (General's Daughter) and I promptly fell asleep halfway through. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. He says it has something to do with me working a job with real hours and the commute it takes to get there. Maybe.
Woke up in time to stay awake for the ride south to Oly. Slept in my bed on a Friday night.
Awoke relatively early on Saturday and headed further south to Portland. Evidently not early enough because we didn't make it in time to get breakfast before we arrived. No biggie.
Checked into the Paramount and the valet saved the day (and the ticket). Walked around in the frigid frio cold to get to Powell's--the highlight of any Portland trip. Bought:
Met by the roommate at Powell's and headed over to Rocco's (the original) for pizza. Checked the local rags for something to do. Adamant opposition to the Nutcracker and so we roamed. And roamed. Then napped. Then asked.
Jaime, the concierge sent us to Harrison's where lively discussion solidified my unwaivering belief in "us" now and for a long time to come. Back to the Paramount and then back out for live jazz and crayon encrypted messages as Brasserie Montmarte.
hangman. I've hung myself for not asking the followup. Never say never, but the curse of the "you should have saids" will follow me even now in my old age. Maybe moreso now in my old age where the comebacks are not nearly as witty. Or as quick.
4 letters. Second is "o", fourth is "e". Yeah I knew it. But I was too scared to say it. Because then I would have had to ask. And if he said "I really care for you..." or even if he said "I think one day I might..." And if he said "Yeah I do"? Then what do I say?
He told me the word. I smiled a smile I have not smiled in close to forever. But I didn't ask. In some ways, it was enough. In others, I feel I let him down.
On the way back, drove by St. Helens. He's never been. Unfortunately, they advised against Coldwater and I think Johnston is closed this time of year. 80 mph gusts and a front moving in. Of course we saw it clear as day on the way back out. I promised. That's a promise I will hold. I love holding promises for him and carrying them out.
Side fieldtrip to Ocean Shores. Ocean City state park. Uhhh no. But Ocean Shores in December. The crashing waves. And crash landing birds. And walking in the surf with the shutter going off. And getting to drive all the way back to Oly.
I'm afraid to wake up. This feels too good. Too imperfectly perfect. If only we would just say it already.
Got downtown. The lights are GORGEOUS. I love the simple things--simple white lights give the city an innocent glow.
We got home, popped in a movie of my choosing (General's Daughter) and I promptly fell asleep halfway through. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. He says it has something to do with me working a job with real hours and the commute it takes to get there. Maybe.
Woke up in time to stay awake for the ride south to Oly. Slept in my bed on a Friday night.
Awoke relatively early on Saturday and headed further south to Portland. Evidently not early enough because we didn't make it in time to get breakfast before we arrived. No biggie.
Checked into the Paramount and the valet saved the day (and the ticket). Walked around in the frigid frio cold to get to Powell's--the highlight of any Portland trip. Bought:
Don't Play in the Sun by Marita Golden
In the Garden of Our Dreams by Shirlee Taylor Haizlip & Harold C. Haizlip
gal a true life by Ruthie Bolton
gal a true life by Ruthie Bolton
"And don't call me a racist!" by Ella Mazel
gotta get Shifting (??) by the African American Women Voices Project
Met by the roommate at Powell's and headed over to Rocco's (the original) for pizza. Checked the local rags for something to do. Adamant opposition to the Nutcracker and so we roamed. And roamed. Then napped. Then asked.
Jaime, the concierge sent us to Harrison's where lively discussion solidified my unwaivering belief in "us" now and for a long time to come. Back to the Paramount and then back out for live jazz and crayon encrypted messages as Brasserie Montmarte.
hangman. I've hung myself for not asking the followup. Never say never, but the curse of the "you should have saids" will follow me even now in my old age. Maybe moreso now in my old age where the comebacks are not nearly as witty. Or as quick.
4 letters. Second is "o", fourth is "e". Yeah I knew it. But I was too scared to say it. Because then I would have had to ask. And if he said "I really care for you..." or even if he said "I think one day I might..." And if he said "Yeah I do"? Then what do I say?
He told me the word. I smiled a smile I have not smiled in close to forever. But I didn't ask. In some ways, it was enough. In others, I feel I let him down.
On the way back, drove by St. Helens. He's never been. Unfortunately, they advised against Coldwater and I think Johnston is closed this time of year. 80 mph gusts and a front moving in. Of course we saw it clear as day on the way back out. I promised. That's a promise I will hold. I love holding promises for him and carrying them out.
Side fieldtrip to Ocean Shores. Ocean City state park. Uhhh no. But Ocean Shores in December. The crashing waves. And crash landing birds. And walking in the surf with the shutter going off. And getting to drive all the way back to Oly.
I'm afraid to wake up. This feels too good. Too imperfectly perfect. If only we would just say it already.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Good. Imperfection.
Life is. I am. My book is. My job is. My friends are. My family is. My co-workers are. My boyfriend is. My checkbook is. My bills are. My plans are. My world is.
Maybe it is my co-worker who calls me "hun".
Maybe it is my boss who trusts me to make relatively huge decisions.
Maybe it is getting to talk to Liisa three times in one day.
Maybe it is plans to stay at the Paramount this Saturday.
Maybe it is 987 cards down, thousands to go.
Maybe it is a fantastic book about tragic events not backbreaking
(Monkey Business...read it)
Maybe it is Scrapworks, Simple Scrapbooking and PaperCrafts.
Maybe it is West Seattle.
Maybe it is toes on the heater.
Maybe it is lots of sleep.
I am happy. I am here. I am not stressing. I am not complaining. I am not taking it personal. I am laughing again. I want to stop planning and just do again. I have ideas. I have passion. I have an uncanny urge to eat lots of apple pie with ice cream and sparkly lemon water.
I love life and everything in mine and everything about it. Really. Everything isn't perfect, but it is in that imperfection, in those details, that life is perfectly imperfect.
Good.
All of it. I don't know what it was today.
Maybe it is my co-worker who calls me "hun".
Maybe it is my boss who trusts me to make relatively huge decisions.
Maybe it is getting to talk to Liisa three times in one day.
Maybe it is plans to stay at the Paramount this Saturday.
Maybe it is 987 cards down, thousands to go.
Maybe it is a fantastic book about tragic events not backbreaking
(Monkey Business...read it)
Maybe it is Scrapworks, Simple Scrapbooking and PaperCrafts.
Maybe it is West Seattle.
Maybe it is toes on the heater.
Maybe it is lots of sleep.
I am happy. I am here. I am not stressing. I am not complaining. I am not taking it personal. I am laughing again. I want to stop planning and just do again. I have ideas. I have passion. I have an uncanny urge to eat lots of apple pie with ice cream and sparkly lemon water.
I love life and everything in mine and everything about it. Really. Everything isn't perfect, but it is in that imperfection, in those details, that life is perfectly imperfect.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Really...a week?
Has it really been a week since I have written? What is the word for what you feel when you are beyond exhausted? Yeah, I'm too tired to think it up too. So tired I cannot look for the remote control or turn the channel from the Chris Matthews show. Ugh. You know I'm bone tired.
I need to eat. But I don't really have much to cook. I really want some pasta, but then I should probably go to the store and get some kind of sauce. Maybe some pasta too. Or I should just go to Taco Bell. No...be responsible. Go buy groceries.
Two more weeks. Then I have a week off. A whole long week. Whatever will I do with myself?
I think I'll wrap some gifts tonight. Got most of my sister's gift. Since she doesn't read my blog yet (positive about that), I can say that I still need to get her a gift card and then she will be done.
My mother is far LESS likely to read my blog. I want to look up a spa in the El Paso area and get her a gift certificate. I'm so sure she could use it. And then I'll likely make her another gift basket since she really liked that last year. And I'd love to just buy her a couple of airline tickets to fly north already. But that would freak her out. So I think what I will do is a couple of cute gift album deals for her. One will actually be a photo album with pictures of me and Robert since she is so on the "yeah...you're this big time scrapbooker but you don't never send me any pages. Okay, okay. Which reminds me. It might be a great idea to just make copies of like my favorite 10-20 pages and make an album/portfoilo of those for her. Maybe just something to do another time. Anyhow, the other album is going to be a fill in the blank deal. All of the stuff we'll do in Seattle, just add pictures kinda deal. Maybe even send a ticket or gift certificate for places only up here--ie, Red Robin gift cert, etc. That way, she can't use them at home, she knows that I'm committed to her coming and she gets a glimpse of all the cool things we can do when she visits.
I actually do think that she is committed to making the trip this year. I hope so.
BF is adorable as always. But he knows that. We had a really laid back weekend which I really appreciated after this crazy week. One good thing about life now is that I actually get to see him more often.
Sidenote--I absolutely CANNOT believe it is only 4:30.
Anyhow...back to the weekend. He woke me up at like 6:50 so that we could go to Queen Anne to take pictures of DT Seattle and the mountain at sunrise. We'll have to do it during the week when the worker bees actually turn on the lights in the buildings. But God how amazingly, wonderfully, pure, calming and beautiful it is up there.
I fell asleep during the funniest movie of all times (that would be Elf) and now it is going on Monday and time to start the race all over again. I think I'm going to find a way to get more done on the bus. Like reading for pleasure. I certainly have enough time at work to get work done so...let the projects commence.
Bf lurks on the blog from time to time so I cannot mention his gifts here but let me just say one word:
cool.
I'm psyched.
I promise to get nightly again. Promise. Till tomorrow.
I need to eat. But I don't really have much to cook. I really want some pasta, but then I should probably go to the store and get some kind of sauce. Maybe some pasta too. Or I should just go to Taco Bell. No...be responsible. Go buy groceries.
Two more weeks. Then I have a week off. A whole long week. Whatever will I do with myself?
I think I'll wrap some gifts tonight. Got most of my sister's gift. Since she doesn't read my blog yet (positive about that), I can say that I still need to get her a gift card and then she will be done.
My mother is far LESS likely to read my blog. I want to look up a spa in the El Paso area and get her a gift certificate. I'm so sure she could use it. And then I'll likely make her another gift basket since she really liked that last year. And I'd love to just buy her a couple of airline tickets to fly north already. But that would freak her out. So I think what I will do is a couple of cute gift album deals for her. One will actually be a photo album with pictures of me and Robert since she is so on the "yeah...you're this big time scrapbooker but you don't never send me any pages. Okay, okay. Which reminds me. It might be a great idea to just make copies of like my favorite 10-20 pages and make an album/portfoilo of those for her. Maybe just something to do another time. Anyhow, the other album is going to be a fill in the blank deal. All of the stuff we'll do in Seattle, just add pictures kinda deal. Maybe even send a ticket or gift certificate for places only up here--ie, Red Robin gift cert, etc. That way, she can't use them at home, she knows that I'm committed to her coming and she gets a glimpse of all the cool things we can do when she visits.
I actually do think that she is committed to making the trip this year. I hope so.
BF is adorable as always. But he knows that. We had a really laid back weekend which I really appreciated after this crazy week. One good thing about life now is that I actually get to see him more often.
Sidenote--I absolutely CANNOT believe it is only 4:30.
Anyhow...back to the weekend. He woke me up at like 6:50 so that we could go to Queen Anne to take pictures of DT Seattle and the mountain at sunrise. We'll have to do it during the week when the worker bees actually turn on the lights in the buildings. But God how amazingly, wonderfully, pure, calming and beautiful it is up there.
I fell asleep during the funniest movie of all times (that would be Elf) and now it is going on Monday and time to start the race all over again. I think I'm going to find a way to get more done on the bus. Like reading for pleasure. I certainly have enough time at work to get work done so...let the projects commence.
Bf lurks on the blog from time to time so I cannot mention his gifts here but let me just say one word:
cool.
I'm psyched.
I promise to get nightly again. Promise. Till tomorrow.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Change Agent
So. You love the heck out of someone. Someone has a problem. You see the problem. In lucid moments someone sees the problem as well. But those lucid moments are few and far between. Someone doesn't really see their problem as the real problem that it is. Merely a simple issue, but not a problem. Not a problem that impacts family, friends--real friends, not the ones who enable someone.
I don't know what to do. Really, there is nothing I CAN do.
Everyone says it and knows it and I understand it. Someone has to want to change in order to change. Layer that on top of the common knowledge that people don't change. Is it hopeless?
So then. My birthday was fantastically simple. I am really LOVING a far less complicated life. Dear boyfriend took me out to the Comedy Underground where I laughed my butt off. Got back to his place and got gifts so very apropo. We're going to go to Walla Walla when it gets warmer (smile) and he got me a carry on travel bag. Red of course (smile). Perfect [censored]. Then, Sunday morning we went to breakfast, ran some errands and I hung out at his place as he installed lights. He cooked me dinner and sent me on my way so that I'd be able to get up early enough to take the bus to work in the morning.
Not so much. I ended up driving the whole way today. I'll definitely need to take the bus a heckuva lot more often to deter the stop at one of my fave craft stores along the way. Just picked up a few items for an amazing gift idea I have for the boyfriend. He's gonna love it...capitalism aside (smile). Hey...I DID support the economy by buying the supplies for it.
[censored] job--rocks the house. [censored] I love it. [censored].
Okay...time to mourn my loses, post a photo and "suck it up already" and try again. Check my other blogs for more.
I don't know what to do. Really, there is nothing I CAN do.
Everyone says it and knows it and I understand it. Someone has to want to change in order to change. Layer that on top of the common knowledge that people don't change. Is it hopeless?
So then. My birthday was fantastically simple. I am really LOVING a far less complicated life. Dear boyfriend took me out to the Comedy Underground where I laughed my butt off. Got back to his place and got gifts so very apropo. We're going to go to Walla Walla when it gets warmer (smile) and he got me a carry on travel bag. Red of course (smile). Perfect [censored]. Then, Sunday morning we went to breakfast, ran some errands and I hung out at his place as he installed lights. He cooked me dinner and sent me on my way so that I'd be able to get up early enough to take the bus to work in the morning.
Not so much. I ended up driving the whole way today. I'll definitely need to take the bus a heckuva lot more often to deter the stop at one of my fave craft stores along the way. Just picked up a few items for an amazing gift idea I have for the boyfriend. He's gonna love it...capitalism aside (smile). Hey...I DID support the economy by buying the supplies for it.
[censored] job--rocks the house. [censored] I love it. [censored].
Okay...time to mourn my loses, post a photo and "suck it up already" and try again. Check my other blogs for more.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
They like me...they really do
Sometimes. And other times they just love me. I had to choke back some serious SERIOUS tears when I saw Liisa sitting up at the desk this past Friday when I walked into work. She came all the way up to Olympia skiddin' in on the rails on her day off with her papers due to come and see me [censored]. Okay...I'ma electrocute myself on this here laptop if I start crying again.
[censored].
Speaking of which.
How do you convince your boyfriend to come up off the secret already? He won't tell me where we're going tonight. I do know that it wouldn't be a weekend without a trip to Home Depot of course. Light boxes this time. Matching holes in the wall to prove it. God that boy is super patient. Probably why he's still hanging out with me.
So. Monday is the day. [censored]. It is the day I finally find out who won the Scrapworks contest that has taken a life of it's own on my b3 blog. I'm really trying to just forget about it but that's a cool $1000 I could SOOOOO use right now what with [censored] Christmas and all. Genius is as genius does--I get loaded on December 23. I'm responsible enough to not put off the real bills until then and instead use my December 10 check to have fun, but still. I'd much rather buy presents than a brake job next week.
Sigh.
And yes, for the millionith time, one day I will eat Carrot Cake again.
[censored].
Speaking of which.
How do you convince your boyfriend to come up off the secret already? He won't tell me where we're going tonight. I do know that it wouldn't be a weekend without a trip to Home Depot of course. Light boxes this time. Matching holes in the wall to prove it. God that boy is super patient. Probably why he's still hanging out with me.
So. Monday is the day. [censored]. It is the day I finally find out who won the Scrapworks contest that has taken a life of it's own on my b3 blog. I'm really trying to just forget about it but that's a cool $1000 I could SOOOOO use right now what with [censored] Christmas and all. Genius is as genius does--I get loaded on December 23. I'm responsible enough to not put off the real bills until then and instead use my December 10 check to have fun, but still. I'd much rather buy presents than a brake job next week.
Sigh.
And yes, for the millionith time, one day I will eat Carrot Cake again.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
List'd
To make a list or not to make the list. I'm not at all high maintenance. I just like nice things. Some are nicer than others. These are the gorgeous things a person so inclined could buy for me as long as he/she/it makes sure to keep in mind that what I want most in the world cannot be bought and what I appreciate most in a gift is not the price tag. So then...
************[Maintenance]List**********
************(Fun)List**********
************FunctionalList**********
Price points for all.
Happy giving season.
T-minus 8 hours...
So. Yesterday and Monday I had [censored] parties. Let me just say that I don't want to see any more carrot cake for a long, LONG time. But how cool is that that everyone remembered my favorite kinds of cake?
On Monday, I sat down with my student group and we just talked. One of my students was reading us these awesome passsages about {un}thankful thanksgiving--about why there are very valid reasons why many Native Americans don't have reason to celebrate that day. Really caused me to think and contemplate whether or not I will celebrate the day myself anymore. Then we got to reading about being poly (as opposed to multi) cultural. Now THAT was a great piece. [censored].
Yesterday (Tuesday), [censored] I really tried to get out of the super analytical, read-too-much-into-it mindset. But it was interesting who came and who did not come. Was very telling [censored]. In a nutshell, it was important that the students [censored] were there. It is equally important that the people who could have helped me to help them the most, were not there. Nuff said about all of that.
Another of my super-fantastic students had just come by to break down the ultra amazing display we had in the Cultural Center for all of November. We were so lucky to come across this amazing woman who was so completely knowledgable about her culture and so willing to share it. Oh how amazing the world would be if there were just two more of her. Just two more.
So [censored] I loved this experience.
Well...birthday is this Sunday. I already love that I'll get to celebrate it for three days or so. My BF is a cutie--he's going to cook me dinner on Friday. I love it when he cooks for me. Almost as much as I love to cook for him. Sigh...the next utterance from my keyboard will be a "he's so dreamy" so I better stop before I get censored [again]. Yes...I am sitting here giggling at myself.
Okay, okay...another few lists need to be posted. It will get him reading my blog (lurker) so...off I go.
On Monday, I sat down with my student group and we just talked. One of my students was reading us these awesome passsages about {un}thankful thanksgiving--about why there are very valid reasons why many Native Americans don't have reason to celebrate that day. Really caused me to think and contemplate whether or not I will celebrate the day myself anymore. Then we got to reading about being poly (as opposed to multi) cultural. Now THAT was a great piece. [censored].
Yesterday (Tuesday), [censored] I really tried to get out of the super analytical, read-too-much-into-it mindset. But it was interesting who came and who did not come. Was very telling [censored]. In a nutshell, it was important that the students [censored] were there. It is equally important that the people who could have helped me to help them the most, were not there. Nuff said about all of that.
Another of my super-fantastic students had just come by to break down the ultra amazing display we had in the Cultural Center for all of November. We were so lucky to come across this amazing woman who was so completely knowledgable about her culture and so willing to share it. Oh how amazing the world would be if there were just two more of her. Just two more.
So [censored] I loved this experience.
Well...birthday is this Sunday. I already love that I'll get to celebrate it for three days or so. My BF is a cutie--he's going to cook me dinner on Friday. I love it when he cooks for me. Almost as much as I love to cook for him. Sigh...the next utterance from my keyboard will be a "he's so dreamy" so I better stop before I get censored [again]. Yes...I am sitting here giggling at myself.
Okay, okay...another few lists need to be posted. It will get him reading my blog (lurker) so...off I go.
Monday, November 28, 2005
I'm not weird, I just like weird movies
Or so I have been told. That the movies I like are weird. Not really though. Right now, my three faves are really not anything recent because, you see, my boyfriend is big on watching movies at his place. Now, it's not like we're watching on the 13 inch black and white. Oh no. That would be half-arsed and my BF doesn't do anything unless he's doing it full out.
So. When we watch movies at his place, it is on the ultra comfy (as in, just look at the thing and you fall asleep) make out couch.
And it's with the big screen out (think what...4x8...yes that is feet).
And it's with the ground shaking (his surround sound would make many a movie theater jealous).
He's such a boy. I like it a lot (smile).
In any event, though we didn't watch one of these three movies in the complex as I will soon take to calling the screening room, we did watch them all together. And he gave me "that look" each time I oooohhhed and ahhhhed over these movies. Which movies? I'm getting there already.
So.
I really, REALLY liked Crash. And I really, REALLY liked City of God. And I of course loved Monster's Ball. They're all social commentary on crappy situations. I guess, if you think about it, they all start at the end too. I just noticed that about Monster's Ball the other night.
In any event, I love watching movies that you have to watch a few times (okay...that I have to watch a few times) to truly get the whole gist of it.
Another thing all three movies had in common is that they each pushed me out of my comfort zone. As madame diversity guru (I'm kinda sad, I only have 24 more work hours of that title...oh no!!), I had serious issues with Crash. Couldn't help but to proclaim that I loved the movie every six or so scenes, but still. The stereotypes were harsh if only to draw the obvious parallels.
In City of God, the whole drug game really had me caught up because...well, I promised when I started this that I wouldn't call people out negatively. So I'll just say that that movie hit a bit too close to home for me and had me thinking "well, now I see..." and I'd really rather stay closeminded when it comes to homewrecking issues such as drug dealing.
In Monster's Ball, good goodness I'm not a prude. Reserved, shy, laid back perhaps. But I seem to seriously block out a good 7 minutes of that movie. It was funny because I was telling BF that I was shocked that an actress of her caliber didn't have nudity clauses in her contract. He (observantly) said "Nudity clauses?! Try f-scene clauses." Point well taken. Anyhow, everytime I see that movie I'm reminded of the controversy over what Halle had to do to get her Oscar. Never say never, but I'd like to think that Billy Bob would be on my "does Hell go with No" list.
Anyhow, there you have it. Check out City of God, Monster's Ball and Crash. Sure, be brave and do them back to back to back. In the meantime, I should compose some thoughts on the dinner party before the memory blurs. I will, I will...but other things just keep coming up.
And then she signed off.
So. When we watch movies at his place, it is on the ultra comfy (as in, just look at the thing and you fall asleep) make out couch.
And it's with the big screen out (think what...4x8...yes that is feet).
And it's with the ground shaking (his surround sound would make many a movie theater jealous).
He's such a boy. I like it a lot (smile).
In any event, though we didn't watch one of these three movies in the complex as I will soon take to calling the screening room, we did watch them all together. And he gave me "that look" each time I oooohhhed and ahhhhed over these movies. Which movies? I'm getting there already.
So.
I really, REALLY liked Crash. And I really, REALLY liked City of God. And I of course loved Monster's Ball. They're all social commentary on crappy situations. I guess, if you think about it, they all start at the end too. I just noticed that about Monster's Ball the other night.
In any event, I love watching movies that you have to watch a few times (okay...that I have to watch a few times) to truly get the whole gist of it.
Another thing all three movies had in common is that they each pushed me out of my comfort zone. As madame diversity guru (I'm kinda sad, I only have 24 more work hours of that title...oh no!!), I had serious issues with Crash. Couldn't help but to proclaim that I loved the movie every six or so scenes, but still. The stereotypes were harsh if only to draw the obvious parallels.
In City of God, the whole drug game really had me caught up because...well, I promised when I started this that I wouldn't call people out negatively. So I'll just say that that movie hit a bit too close to home for me and had me thinking "well, now I see..." and I'd really rather stay closeminded when it comes to homewrecking issues such as drug dealing.
In Monster's Ball, good goodness I'm not a prude. Reserved, shy, laid back perhaps. But I seem to seriously block out a good 7 minutes of that movie. It was funny because I was telling BF that I was shocked that an actress of her caliber didn't have nudity clauses in her contract. He (observantly) said "Nudity clauses?! Try f-scene clauses." Point well taken. Anyhow, everytime I see that movie I'm reminded of the controversy over what Halle had to do to get her Oscar. Never say never, but I'd like to think that Billy Bob would be on my "does Hell go with No" list.
Anyhow, there you have it. Check out City of God, Monster's Ball and Crash. Sure, be brave and do them back to back to back. In the meantime, I should compose some thoughts on the dinner party before the memory blurs. I will, I will...but other things just keep coming up.
And then she signed off.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Priorities
I'm a bit behind. I promise to write about the dinner party tomorrow or later tonight. But for this post, let us discuss priorities.
My boyfriend is good about reminding me that from time to time, I just need to write a list of what I want and order it up so that I understand what is important to me.
Right now, I need to decide the following:
My boyfriend is good about reminding me that from time to time, I just need to write a list of what I want and order it up so that I understand what is important to me.
Right now, I need to decide the following:
[censored]
post will return momentarily in entirety
Friday, November 25, 2005
Down the Drain
So how detrimental to my argument of "this place is a dump" is it if I agree to pay for another month's rent while I look for another place?
Okay. So, as you all know, I have sh*t problems. Well, no not really, but it doesn't flush in my toilet. Actually, NOTHING flushes in my toilet. Sometimes I push the handle and water just swirls around. When there is nothing in the water, I imagine it to be an effective cleaning mechanism. Other times, I push the handle and the water just rushes up to the panic line--you know, just below the rim so that it doesn't overflow but looks like it might if a strong wind were to come by? Finally, today, it gushed forth flooding my floor and encroaching upon my carpet.
I was pissed. But understandably so right?
So I fired up the laptop and wrote about it. Walked away, had some soybeans, came back and deleted half the letter. Contemplated getting my prescription filled and then edited the letter some more.
Now I need to know. See, I don't have another place to go. But I can't set foot in my bathroom because it's just darn gross. There's not stuff on the floor, but even just toilet water (with nothing in it) turns my stomache. So I was holding it for hours before I went out and did some shopping at Target. Of course it was all a plot to use the bathroom.
But I digress.
In my letter to the manager, I state that I will pay the December rent but I will be out of here come January 1. Pretty much, I need a place to lay my head and store my stuff until I find another apartment. [censored] .
But in my letter, I paint the situation as the dire situation that it is. Essentially, I will not be showering or using the bathroom here because my bathroom needs to be roped off with yellow danger tape. Sure, the toilet flushes now, but thirteen flushes from now, it will just swirl and another 7 flushes later it will overflow. I think that is unacceptable. Especially since now the assistant manager never wants to do anything about it. Way I see it, if I wanted to stick my hand around in my toilet, I'd buy a place. But as long as I pay rent in an old, decrepit building, that is what I have a landlord for. Even there, I have stopped bugging them all the time and just taken to using the plunger they left behind for me after the second overflow but really...a toilet should NOT overflow on a regular basis.
So...do I make like the wind and just make the effort to find somewhere for December 1? Or do I go ahead and pay for December to stay in their good graces? Push come to shove I hope I could work it either way, but I think they might try to stick me to the lease if I get ugly. I definitely don't want to stay here any longer. I've already budgeted for December, but I just cannot stay here longer than that.
I need a toilet. Is that too much to ask? I think this apartment is down the drain.
Okay. So, as you all know, I have sh*t problems. Well, no not really, but it doesn't flush in my toilet. Actually, NOTHING flushes in my toilet. Sometimes I push the handle and water just swirls around. When there is nothing in the water, I imagine it to be an effective cleaning mechanism. Other times, I push the handle and the water just rushes up to the panic line--you know, just below the rim so that it doesn't overflow but looks like it might if a strong wind were to come by? Finally, today, it gushed forth flooding my floor and encroaching upon my carpet.
I was pissed. But understandably so right?
So I fired up the laptop and wrote about it. Walked away, had some soybeans, came back and deleted half the letter. Contemplated getting my prescription filled and then edited the letter some more.
Now I need to know. See, I don't have another place to go. But I can't set foot in my bathroom because it's just darn gross. There's not stuff on the floor, but even just toilet water (with nothing in it) turns my stomache. So I was holding it for hours before I went out and did some shopping at Target. Of course it was all a plot to use the bathroom.
But I digress.
In my letter to the manager, I state that I will pay the December rent but I will be out of here come January 1. Pretty much, I need a place to lay my head and store my stuff until I find another apartment. [censored] .
But in my letter, I paint the situation as the dire situation that it is. Essentially, I will not be showering or using the bathroom here because my bathroom needs to be roped off with yellow danger tape. Sure, the toilet flushes now, but thirteen flushes from now, it will just swirl and another 7 flushes later it will overflow. I think that is unacceptable. Especially since now the assistant manager never wants to do anything about it. Way I see it, if I wanted to stick my hand around in my toilet, I'd buy a place. But as long as I pay rent in an old, decrepit building, that is what I have a landlord for. Even there, I have stopped bugging them all the time and just taken to using the plunger they left behind for me after the second overflow but really...a toilet should NOT overflow on a regular basis.
So...do I make like the wind and just make the effort to find somewhere for December 1? Or do I go ahead and pay for December to stay in their good graces? Push come to shove I hope I could work it either way, but I think they might try to stick me to the lease if I get ugly. I definitely don't want to stay here any longer. I've already budgeted for December, but I just cannot stay here longer than that.
I need a toilet. Is that too much to ask? I think this apartment is down the drain.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
So
[twiddling thumbs]. my life is really not boring. Far from it. And it's not that I'm not all about telling the world the most personal aspects of that non-boring life. But today is Thanksgiving. But really to me, it is Thursday.
Ever since my grandmother died, Thanksgiving has never really been an important holiday to me. Really, it is just another Thursday. Okay...you know me. Really, it is the Thursday before shopping nirvana. Well, I'm competitive, I love a sale and I will GET what I came for. So of course I love Black Friday. But I digress.
Interestingly enough, this is the first Thanksgiving in a good month of them that I have not done something. My grandmother died in 2000--before Thanksgiving that year. Truth be told, I don't remember going home from Cornell that year because I had just been home at the start of the month for her funeral on November 9. I'm sure I couldn't afford to go back and I typically didn't go home for Thanksgiving while I was in college anyhow. I think that was the first year that I spent it with my ex and his family. I made a really great sour cream/pear tart that I never found the recipe to again. But, once more, I digress.
Though I claim myself close to my family, I've not seen them in years. No, not decades...not even close. But I have not seen my mother since November of 2002. Right about now marks 3 years. Oh...I talk to her all the time. Will definitely call her today. But we have not been face to face for a bit now and it's starting to take it's toll.
So go and visit you say?
It's just not that simple. My life never is.
I'm just keeping busy today. Trying not to forget my grandmother; steeling for the call home. Scrapping, cleaning and...yeah. Yeah. So.
Ever since my grandmother died, Thanksgiving has never really been an important holiday to me. Really, it is just another Thursday. Okay...you know me. Really, it is the Thursday before shopping nirvana. Well, I'm competitive, I love a sale and I will GET what I came for. So of course I love Black Friday. But I digress.
Interestingly enough, this is the first Thanksgiving in a good month of them that I have not done something. My grandmother died in 2000--before Thanksgiving that year. Truth be told, I don't remember going home from Cornell that year because I had just been home at the start of the month for her funeral on November 9. I'm sure I couldn't afford to go back and I typically didn't go home for Thanksgiving while I was in college anyhow. I think that was the first year that I spent it with my ex and his family. I made a really great sour cream/pear tart that I never found the recipe to again. But, once more, I digress.
Though I claim myself close to my family, I've not seen them in years. No, not decades...not even close. But I have not seen my mother since November of 2002. Right about now marks 3 years. Oh...I talk to her all the time. Will definitely call her today. But we have not been face to face for a bit now and it's starting to take it's toll.
So go and visit you say?
It's just not that simple. My life never is.
I'm just keeping busy today. Trying not to forget my grandmother; steeling for the call home. Scrapping, cleaning and...yeah. Yeah. So.
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