Miss me dear?

It's only been a week. And I've seen you looking in my window anyhow so it is not like I have to post for the world to see.

Kidding. I don't have stalkers...I stalk people. Not.

Breath in. Breath out.

What a long week it has been. Plenty of ups and downs and I am scared shitless that, hey, bipolar is really something to be looking out for. That's karma for ya. I basically sucked my teeth at the prospect of all of my gen of gals conviently coming up psycho when the going got tough. Amazingly, my life ain't half hard yet I have issues. Not drama queen issues (well, yeah those but I've learned to live with and love those) but real issues. As in bitterness, unhappy, madness when life by all standards is going fantastically.

I have a great (albeit not that difficult) job that pays the bills (mine, her's, his and their's).
I have a great boyfriend who is straightfoward, honest, caring and scared right along with me.
I have page requests from all over this great country for the creative hell of it.
I've had nice weather to wake up to.
My friends are talking to me again (it's our cycle...few years on, few years off)
My enemies are trying to get close to me again...

all is well. but not.

I'm not getting medicated into happiness. Life is too short for that and I'm not in denial when I say I don't need that [you're in denial...no I'm not...].

I just needed to breath. in. and then out again.

So...in the past week. My place is really really REALLY starting to feel like my place. Have tables (devil is in the details) to entertain at. Have food in the cupboard. Have a working toilet (reminder to self...have landlord served for court date). Have heat. Have light. Have candles.

I love my place. Love listening to the water. Love watching the water. Love that I cannot smell the water. Love it. Adore it. Sunsets are the best. Light is even better. Especially when you can go in the backroom and shut it all out.

My kitchen is tiny sized--just like I like it. But my fridge and oven are full sized--all the best for entertaining. I adore my place. Oh yeah...said that already. Adore even more the folks who live upstairs. She left me a note on the tram this morning warning me that it was icy. So considerate. Love them to death.

Okay.

Love fest over. Time to think about chairs for the table. Vacuum cleaner. Going out and having fun. Reading files. Saying no. Saying yes. Making dreams comes true and crushing others. Not fun.

Feds paid up

Now I suppose it is my turn. Never again will I likely get a refund on my fed taxes. Being the single lady making what I do without a home...school bills...etc.

Alas. Guess I should go out and get knocked up already.
Or buy a house.
Or go back to being broke, sick and tired all the time.

Alas. Lord knows they take enough outta my paycheck for me to not have to pay any significant bill come the end of the year. I date a finance geek who has more than once offered to help me get a clue.

Yeah. tomorrow. Or...maybe the day after. Okay. next week.

Now. I typically don't blog about work. You never know who knows who and will tell who. But oh my word. If I could, you know I'd have some gossip for you today. Let's say that once upon a time, wannabe lawyers were very self sufficient. Now, they are not.

Okay, that is not fair. I shouldn't speak of the whole when really I just mean most of them are not. Okay...some of them. This one in particular.

Wow.

Wow.

I had a fantastic bus driver this morning that sang to me. I actually enjoyed going out and doing "me" things yesterday. Not necessarily things that I love to do (like photography and scrapping and writing and reading) because increasingly, that is done with/for/around others.

But really me things--like going and giving the talk on conference prep to the folks in my program (celeb status...gotta love it). Like going to the black alumni event. Like going to meet the new board member. Like talking with Joan on a brief ride home.

Like me stuff. Stuff that no one wants to do with me, that is okay for me to go off and do on my own, that isn't for the direct benefit of me or others...it's just stuff to do because you have to. Almost like work, but fun. Although I must admit that I am having way too much fun with work...coukie ones considered.

Mood Alert

So last night was Velentine's Day. BF was in a bit of a funk--gotta love his job. But he planned a really great night for us and it was great. We stopped by Third Place Books up north for a little Q&A session with local romance novelists. Of course, you know me and books--there is no sitting still. So about halfway through, I asked if we could go and play in the stacks. He obliged.

I bought. Of course I did. Got these really cool "Mood Alert" sheets. They're taglined "Better living through fair warning." So of course I filled one out. At all of 9:30 this morning, I was bitter. I really need an attitude adjustment. But I digress.

Also bought a really neat little quote book with rip out pages that is in the right colors (and the right phrases) for the chatterbox book I'll likely never do. Not today at least.

Before the author session, we got ice cream. It's been so long since I had my Reese's PB cup. I had forgotten just how much I love that stuff.

After the author session, we went to the best little steakhouse in town. Yeah (smile). carmelita. which is actually the best vegetarian restaurant in town. I was so psyched that he "put up with me" and went without meat for me. He was not feeling the menu (Vegetarian or Vegan...those were the choices for the V-day evening) but I really liked the different textures and flavors. I'm happy that he was a good sport about it. I loved the gnocci--well, all of the textures and layers to the whole dish I should say. I have a thing for goat cheese lately. Yes, there was goat cheese in the dish.

BF also sent me two dozen roses at work. I was the talk of the office (smile). He's such a cutie...officially adorable.

I need an attitude adjustment. Really. I mentioned the mood alert deal above? Well...suffice it to say that if at 9:25 am I am characterizing the day as horrendous as I package up my first layout to be published in Creating Keepsakes...life needs some balance.

Instead of pitching a fit, I think I'm going to go and find a way to spend some money. Shopping...every woman's tonic. I wanted to buy some Dave C. tickets. They sold out in 5 minutes. Now they are going for about $500 a pair. Yeah. I told myself if they sold out in 30 minutes (before I could get to the computer) then I didn't really need to go.

So I'm not going.

Time to plan some fun for Saturday. Although maybe not. Couple of folks I know just got engaged. BF and other friend want to go out and celebrate. I think moreso, I need to find a cheap ticket to El Paso for a moment. Half a decade. I don't know what is wrong with me.

Time to get over myself.

Ridin Dirty

Very dirty. Ugh. Procrastination will eventually catch up with you. So went out to Discovery Park with BF today. got to the beach. Well worth the up and downhills. One step at a time. That's how you tackle the steps.

There is a cute little song by Jagged Edge now called Good Luck Charm. Just saw the video yesterday on Access Granted. Now THAT is dirty. Not as dirty as I'm ridin', but we'll get to that.

I need a dining room table. But I don't want to have to haul it down my tram. I need to get it so that it can be delivered on a Wed when I am home so that I can direct them where to bring it. Of course I won't tell them of the obstacle course cause then they may want to charge me more. Or something. You know...I got my fave chairs at Fred Myers for a decent clip (on sale). Maybe I can luck up on a table there. I don't really remember seeing anything decent sized there. I don't need a huge BF worthy one. Just something to fill the space and feed people at. Supposedly I have kinda committed to a March housewarming. Gotta find a date for that.

So...really...I cleaned yesterday and it felt good to get things into their places. Other reason why I want a dining room table is that I was able to read so much more in the dining room. The couch is not conducive to working.

But there is little light when it is dark in the front room. Check that, when it is getting dark. You know...that moment when it is too light for electric lights to be much good, but also too dark to read by natural light.

Anyhow...I might could get home and watch the sunset today. But that means leaving here. Which I don't necessarily want to do. Not really anyhow. I do need to get more cleaning done.

My place looks a lot better now that I have some pictures going up. A couple of rugs and end tables and we'll be good to go. I need to go and get gas before work tomorrow. That's what I should go and do now. Soon as I get up...

She found us

Girl with. Plural. Found it. That is the plus side of never, ever, EVER throwing anything away...

occassionally you will find something you really wanted to find. Suffice it to say that I am a very happy gal.

She found us. You know. Most people say "I'm going to go out and get a dog." or maybe they even say "We're going to the pound and bringing home a cat." Rarely do people get to say she found us.

This past week, while girlfriend was crashed out on the couch and boyfriend was setting us up to watch that God awful movie (don't ask, don't tell...all I need to say is that wandering around a house should NOT make up 120 minutes of anything), there was quite a ruckus at the back door.

I woke to him opening the door and in she walked. Beautiful Grayson.

Now this dear cat is not at all an outdoor cat. Ever the analyst, BF could rattle off a million and one evidences to this fact. But a cat is a cat. And while she was a bit forward and slept with him on the first date, she had to be booted from bed by 4 or 6 am each morning because all she would do was scream and hollar. Outside she went.

BF was smart enough not to feed her before bed, but his guilty conscience got the better of him and so every night this past week, when he got home from work, it was all about waiting for Grayson to show up and then calling me to ask what he should do with her. Note to those who have made it this far...we're not entirely sure she is a she. Okay...I am not. But then again, I'm not trying to figure it out.

In any event, we help off naming her. Held off feeding her. Caved in last night and bought her a litter box. He plopped her in it and soon came the "Damn you, kitty" as she proptly knew what to do--straight down to scratching over the remains.

Sigh. She has problems though. As in trying to use said box every other minute and not being very productive about it. I told BF that he's going to get to foot the $2g vet bill for whatever is wrong with her...him...it...Grayson. We couldn't figure out why anyone would dump her. She's gorgeous, perfectly trained, great personality...

I'm thinking the impending vet bill will tell the tale of why.

Fun. Life is.

So. Yeah then.

Life is fun. Me too. It is a gorgeous day outside and I'm sitting in an office (with a huge window so I can't really complain) longing to be outside. I want to wear spring clothes (which translates to: I want to go shopping) and I want to run around barefoot in the grass.

I even want to go home and clean up.

My goodness. Wednesday I was sitting in my bedroom on the floor doing stuff and the sun was blazing hot. Landlord warned me that it could get rather toasty, but really. It will be an interesting summer. Just will have to keep the few windows that do open in my place cranked open all the time. Wow--probably won't spend much time in my backroom. All the better excuse to get out and go DO something already.

So.

Tomorrow I'm off to have fun with the gals from work. A musical, a dinner, a birthday celebration and they are actually scrapbook fiends. I have to take a camera with me. Really I do. Which reminds me, I have to get on the ball about purchasing another camera. Right now I'm all over borrowing BF's which has treated me well. Very well. But I want to get back into it and so the camera purchase looms long and big.

Oh yeah...I should be planning the fantastic three day weekend getaway for next week. Fun times. I really like having a three day weekend each month.

BF was good about pointing out that while I have two Fridays each week by virtue of the fact that I do not go into the office on Wednesdays, I also have two Mondays a week. Sigh. Good thing of that being that I know exactly what I am in for on Mondays and Thursdays at my job. Papercuts galore making a lot of wannabe lawyers very happy. It is the Tuesday that I fear the most--lots of last minute projects that all have to be done immediately since I won't be back until Thursday. Friday is as Friday does. Right.

So Fun this weekend is hanging out with the girls and then going with BF somewhere on Sunday. Hiking. Now THAT is fun times. Wonder if the other women are going to come along. I think he will relegate one to his bed (if she's nice) and the other might get up in time to go, but likely not. Love them both to death of course (smile).

Kay. Time to go and be boring some more. So many blogs, so little time.

Forever

That's how long it has been eh? I'm sorry. Really. I'm sorry that I have a life and sometimes cannot take the time to post it for the world to see. Try picking up the phone and giving me a call to get an update. Okay...stalker, you shouldn't do that.

Anyhow. What has been going on.

I admit it. I am soooo a bandwagon fan of the Seahawks. Everyone and their mama (and their daddy too) knows that I am a Cowboys fan through and through. But since they can't get off the pipe long enough to get it together, it was well and good enough to root for the Seahawks.

That preface given, I'm not a bitter diehard lifelong fan who feels that 30 years of waiting means a win should be automatic. BUT...man. To have refs really impact a game like this past Super Bowl. One of the callers to my fave morning show pretty much summed it up when she said that watching the Super Bowl was like watching the last election. Essentially, you know that through and through, life is life and that's the rules, it still sucks when the rules are about rightness instead of justice.

Yeah, the rules are that you have to have overwhelming evidence to overturn a call on the field. But knowing that, why do you call it a touchdown instead of spotting it like you originally thought you should do and THEN reviewing it.

Yeah, the rules are that a receiver cannot push off on the defender, but how about if you call that love tap, you call the rule that the defender cannot touch said defender beyond that initial get up and go jump.

Yeah, the rules say that you cannot block below the knees...

but how about you call it when the block happens, not when the tackle happens.

I had a deeply suppressed scream in me yesterday night. No, not over the game. A game is a game. That scream was moreso for the injustice of it all. Injustice is injustice is injustice. I hate to see folks win who don't deserve it. I hate to see folks screwed who don't deserve it. Yeah. It's just a game. But the "it's just a..." mentality is infectious and spreads far beyond the Super Bowl. As is evidenced by the comments posted to one of BF's fave blogs. As is evidenced by the not so subtle mesage of the movie I watched this weekend (Lord of War--I love Nicholas Cage...).

Sigh. Off the soapbox. Time to get a few more things done. I have so much paperwork to sift through...not to mention so many files to read. I can do this. It's just a matter of making the to-do list and doing it. first up. Take car back to shop and get it looked at again. They enjoyed when I said "BF says that it is likely x..." because now I am not only "stupid chic that we can overcharge who certainly has the funds to pay" but now I'm stupid chick who works with lawyer types and has a bf that has a clue.

Fun.

Working late two nights this week. DL is Wednesday afternoon that I will likely miss. then Saturday it is a girl's night out with power networking for fun. Next week is V-day. Hmmm...

Next week I get a three day weekend. I so need it. So need it.