Oh and in a week...

...wow. What a week it has been. It was the best of times and the worst of times.

So when I left off here, last Tuesday, I had no idea how much could be crammed into one weekend when you date a crazy guy like Robert.

Thursday, I got into work (an hour after him of course cause he works in Corporate America, I work in higher education...administration at that...land of automatic raises not at all based on merit. Not complaining...not complaining). I had a phone message and an email with an urgency to his voice. I needed to call. Quick.

I called. He confirmed that I had no plans for the weekend. Then told me that now I did. He needed some time to work it out. Few hours later, we have this:

"We're going to Napa this weekend".

Now, I've never been. And I've wanted to go specifically with him cause he's from the Bay Area (well, he spent his adult life there aside from his stint in PA for grad school and the time he's been here in SEA now) and I love going to people's places and having them show me their space through their eyes. Love it. And that was what this trip was. So the plan was to arrive in San Jose, see his friend's parents, go to his fave Mexican food place, visit Cal State Hayward/East Bay (whatever they want to call it nowadays...he was student body prez when he was there so walking the campus with him was totally fun--the whole "I remember this and WOW, look how this turned out...etc.), stay in Oakland. Get up early the next day, drive down to do the 17 mile drive with a Pebble Beach stop...which was totally cool--friggin seeing it in person...and I'm not even a golfer but about the only time I ever watched golf on tv it was watching Tiger Woods play way back in the day when he won at Pebble Beach...thinking wow he's amazing and I'd be pretty amazing at golf too if I got to golf at a place like that. Not really...but I DID indeed think that. Grab a quick lunch and eat it on the beach, go back to our hotel (in Monterey that night) for a quick hour nap, get out to take sunset pics and then get back in time for the barbeque at our hotel. Call it an early night, wake up early and go to Napa. Visit 3 of his fave wineries and make it to Santa Clara to check in, shower up and then go to dinner in San Fran. Bed early again so I could wake up early enough for the flight back in time for work.

Best laid plans went wrong at about nap time. Which figures, because I am a staunch believer that adults are not to take naps on any day but Sunday. Half an hour into the nap, my poor better half work up my worse half. You know my philosophy...if I see it, hear it or smell it...

Well...half an hour into the nap, he was doing it. And over and over again. I wasn't disgusted, I was scared to death. I had no idea what was going on. He had food poisoning before and tries to tell me it was worse than this time, but I was so scared I tried calling his insurance folks. yeah...kept getting dumped back to the switchboard. Finally just asked to speak to a counselor (since the reps were busy and the med RNs were evidently on break) and they were like "ma'am, he's not home and there is no urgent care there so if it is that bad, call 911."

Which I did. And he freaked. Was all "I don't need to go anywhere!" Fine. Okay, but I'm scared. You've been going at this for 3 hours now and I don't see an end to it. Before I let you die of this, I'm calling for help.

He didn't go to the hospital. We stayed up all night and I saw the worst of me. there he was, totally helpless, not on his deathbed, sure enough, but still, totally reaching out to me for help and through my own weakness, I couldn't...wouldn't help him. So scared to see something that I thought would make me sick that when I finally did steel myself and say "You have to do this for him" I still turned away. I was so disgusted with myself. Absolutely. Because here he is totally down and out and he's apologizing to ME for ruining my weekend. The absolutely amazing weekend he planned. That is just as ruined, if not moreso for him. And I'm such a coward I can't even help him. It turns my stomach to think of it because we had just had a long discussion about my lack of failure in life. Not like I've never not gotten something right, but for the most part, everything I try, I do well at. Ironically enough, I thought to myself, he would witness my biggest failure of all...great.

Selfishly, I continued to think that not only had I let him down, but started doubting myself really. I mean, I totally want to have kids. but what if...check that. what about WHEN they get sick? I always thought it would just kick in--when you love someone that much, you just kick in and do it. It didn't happen this weekend. And I'm scared. Or maybe reading too much into it. As he was when he this morning thought he had Botulism. My poor baby...he can barely walk and he's freaked out. I gotta find a way to make him better. At least he can play Xbox now...and he's calling out for the B's and trying to clean and go to the store. So surely he's getting better no? I mean, at the store, he was even able to do the whole "We're doing good" cheerful routine for the checker. That guy is such a trooper.

Ironically (again) enough, before we left for the trip he was like "this will be a mini prelude to our April trip" He meant the constant on the go aspect of it. Not the getting sick part. I had to tell him that for all the crap of this weekend what I learned was that I am so totally not ready for our April trip. I've no idea how I would even call for help in China. I literally don't even know what numbers to dial. And he was the one sick this time--this is the guy who almost sliced off his thumb (and made himself almost half human...another story for another time) who wouldn't cancel our WA winery tour date almost two years ago because he had a friend who was in med school who could come over and stitch him up and he would be fine. Tetanus shot? Yeah...we'll take care of that later.

Just imagine if Ms. "I can't handle any pain" (which is another reason I'm kinda scared to have kids...perhaps yet another post for another time) was the one who was ailing. Oh God. Help me please. Gulp.

Habitual

Okay...so I get stuck...in ruts. All the time. I am a creature of habit. I like it that way. Example you ask? Well...say for instance. I need to call over for lunch to be ready when I run over, pick it up and bring it back to my desk to eat (yes...I'm THAT busy).

Well, it goes something like this:

"Hello Ginger Lime this is David speaking."
"Hi David."
"Oh hi Bernadette! Will it be the usual today?"
"yes"
[note, he doesn't even ask if I want it with shrimp anymore because I don't and it is my new habit]
"okay. see you in 7 minutes"

Yes, he even knows how many minutes it will take me to get across the street.

So, I like to do things the same.

But even I, Ms. Creature of Habit, like to mix it up some. Like last night. Instead of having maybe some steamed broccoli with my sloppy joes, I made a salad. With lettuce, tomato, avocado, sauteed mushrooms, a hint of lemon. Something different.

Now if only I could find the time to write about something OTHER than food on this here blog.

Stay tuned.

Miss*t

I know. You miss me. And I should devote my life to telling total strangers (and not so strange stalkers) all about my daily musings. From dinner to Vday to Nebraska and everything in between. You have to know it all. And I've neglected you. How will I ever take over the world if I continue on this pace? That was an emotional/mental breakdown for PF Changs thank you so much.

Anyhow...so much going on in life. So much that I, madame tell the world all my stuff and archive it for all future generations to see, couldn't find the time to get online. So you know what this means. Yes, my ever faithful. It means a list. That I will promise to come back and update but never will. That will be cryptic and not even understood by me when I come back and try to follow through on my promise, but alas. It is the effort that counts no? Maybe I'll sneak some of my better half's chocolate. I don't think he'll notice since he's busy with the fun dips and all and we can't let good chocolate go to waste. And it IS such a chore to go all the way downstairs to rescue the leftover PF Changs...or the last snickers ice cream bar for that matter. Yeah I'm fat (well, it IS all relative, but no I ain't big bonededed, that is for sure so lately I've likened to calling it "fat" which is not necessarily a bad thing...an unhealthy thing yes, but the boys seem to like where the fat is ending up...well the one boy that matters...and I'm so totally digressing I just might find myself on another post. See...this is why though I'm not a big fan of chocolate, even IT is driving me crazy right now.)

Pause.

Score for the fat chick! He still had some of his vday heart cowchip. How that can ever be a leftover...I don't know. I rescued it. And there is a great piece of English Toffee on my desk now. Not chocolate, but coated in this rich chocolate with macadamia (sp?) nuts. Oh this is heaven.

But that list...yeah, I'll come back and get to it. I promise *wink*

Rules...as they shift.

So I'm a rule follower. I try to do unique things within the rules to bend them and be unique, but I pride myself in being able to figure out which are the ones to be bent and which are the ones, intent and all of the rule considered, to be followed.

Creating Keepsakes has a Hall of Fame contest. I kid you not. And I kid myself not, but that's a disucssion for the other blog. I bring it here only because yesterday, I spent about a good clip (okay...almost half a clip) sending that entry off via Fed Ex so it would get there before the deadline. The deadline (since OCTOBER!!) was February 10 by close of business. The business is in Bluffdale, UT and love scrapping though we might, I kinda figured that they wouldn't be in the office on Saturday for "official business" but maybe they'd make an exception and have someone accepting deliveries. But just to be sure, I went ahead and Fed Exed said entry to arrive by close of business today--Friday--just to be sure.

Well...about 20 minutes after I pulled out that half clip to pay and signed online I come to find out that they have EXTENDED THE DEADLINE. Which actually, is the nice thing to do. I'm just so friggin' mad with myself that I didn't call in sobbing asking them to please extend until Monday or accept a postmark so I wouldn't have to tap into my personal savings for the next round of rejection. lol

Alas. At least it will be there before the original deadline. At least some folks who had given up hope will have this weekend to finish tweeking out entries and get it in the mail. At least, I can hope, that they extended the deadline because they didn't have enough entries this year.

And at most...it is almost 11:30 am which means that I get to go and have pho. I love pho. Hate chicken noodle soup. But I get a veggie broth, tofu version--maybe even with Shrimp today...it is so to die for. And the mushroom spring rolls. It's Friday. I figure if I JUST ate that all the time, maybe I could do a Subway type commercial over the weight I lost. But, alas, I love my HW vanilla cream soda. And my snickers Ice Cream bars. Which I think I need another box of. And I love, love, LOVE me some extra crunchy peanut butter on green apples. And blue cheese. No, not on the apples. Although that is a thought...hmmm...pears with warm walnuts and blue cheese with balsamic vinegar. I'm so hungry and this has digressed into a blog about what I'm eating for lunch instead of what I paid to ship off three sheets of cardstock and this is just so not good. So not good at all.

I tell ya...

I have some great friends. Just when I get in the pitty party and can't figure why "I don't have friends like that" I then get calls and emailes out the blue and realize that the reason why I don't have "friends" like that is because I'm lame and don't make the effort. Yet, I have such great friends. Great friends. Two in particular. One really in particular. She is the bomb! And she knows it. she cares so much and others just want to be difficult. If only we could all go through what she goes through and come out such the better.

Anyhow. So I heard that at a particular institute of higher learning, they are thinking of making promotions and hiring decisions contingent on credit checks. Which I think is utterly ridiculous for the particular institution that is thinking of this, and also for higher education in general. I don't know why, but I've just come to accept that in the big money jobs--banking/finance, law...etc, that a credit check will continue to have some of those fields looking...well...looking as they do. But in higher education--the great vast land of opportunity--to some, the poshest job on this planet with almost no pay, you're going to bar folks from doing better for themselves because they are living paycheck to paycheck working for next to nothing at your institution of higher education? That is crap. They had best be glad I don't write a column for the Olympian anymore. Best be glad.

Back to trying to download stuff. I mean, Ms. Peppy has some GREAT digi elements. Aside from having to paypal everything to partake, there is the issue of agonizingly SLOW downloads. Zip that stuff up already and make it easy on a sister already. Had a few more ideas for work to showcase on that other blog, but tomorrow is a scrap happy day. Well a scrap sad day given that we don't get to go and see eagles. I was thinking of doing my photography trip downtown instead, but I think I have a concept that will work better for the layout. At least given my analysis about what I get published and not, it will work better. We shall see. 65% later, those downloads maybe won't happen tonight.

Off to bloglines I go!