Monday, November 21, 2005

This side of careless

So I walked into work this morning. On any given day, oh, about a month ago, if I would have had a non-meeting the likes of the non-meeting I had this morning, I would be ready to bring the wood. But today, I sat back and told myself:

It ain't your business.

How do you just turn the switch off? How do you go from fighting every battle as though the war depended on it to just saying "Okay, that sounds good?"

Today, I let go and it felt GOOD! I merely stated my case without caring whether or not anyone else would care/agree/act upon it. And guess what? It WORKED! If only I would have figured that out a year ago.

Two weeks to go and I about wiped my board clear today in my office. It is kind of eerie not really having anything to do and just waiting...waiting. Tomorrow, [censored].

I remember how I felt after I walked out of my last AKPsi meeting at Cornell back in 2000. I was walking down the hall in Warren Hall and counting the tiny tiles on the floor. It was as if I was trying to remember every last pattern. [censored].

I care, almost too much. But really, when it comes down to it, I'm just this side of careless.

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